Page 15 - The Gluckman Occasional Number Two

Many’s the time I was blasted,
Because overnight I had fasted;
Mouth dry, I was high while it lasted—
I couldn’t drive but did survive.

And thanks for the imaging:
The radiation more than I bargained for;
You might have lost a patient if you first had told me more.
No thanks for that touch!

Thanks for the imaging:
Of explanations terse, scrambled by your nurse,
And wasted phone calls when I asked you, "Would this thing get
worse?"
How puzzling it was!

And on that day you took payment,
I pray the delay to get paid back
By customer reps way too laid back
Won’t kill my plans to get more scans!

So, thanks for the imaging:
And get it off your chest: did I need that test?
I’m saying I regret it and may I suggest?
The next time you invest, by machines I’m not impressed,
And thank you so much.

Back of the Bean Soup (Harburg-Arlen)

Somewhere back of the bean soup way up high,
On a shelf in my fridge it’s there, there on a plate to try.
Somewhere back of the bean soup gut bugs wait,
And the taste that I’ll have to taste if it’s taken straight.

Someday I’ll just open the bag
And hold my nose so I won’t gag or throw up.
When bubbles bulge inside my gut
Behind a bathroom door that’s shut that’s where I’ll blow up.

Somewhere back of the bean soup cheese is blue,
And the mold that will grow more mold is so good for you.
If happy little children eat that bean soup, why, oh why, can’t I?