Page 115 - Reason To Sing by Kelita Haverland

Chapter Nineteen

her as comfortable as we can. Her lungs simply can’t handle
the fluid anymore. I’m afraid we’ve done all we can do.”
Cold, hard facts. There they are, out in the open. No sugar-
coating and no false hope. We do not respond. What could we
possibly say?
No one has to tell me - I know. We are here to finally watch
the cancer take Mommy from us. But I never even got to say
good-bye? This can’t be the end. It’s not fair. I never got to look
into her eyes one more time. How is that possible? Don’t people
have to say good-bye? No one ever told us she was going to die
today. How could she die without words?
I feel panic rising in my throat. My stepfather isn’t saying
a word to my sister or me. Not a single word. No one is saying
anything. There is just deathly silence.
The three of us walk solemnly down to the end of the hall,
almost like we’ve already begun the funeral procession. The
door to her room is ajar. Mike opens it gently and we enter,
noticing they’ve dimmed the lights above the bed.
My beloved mother. She looks almost angelic. Gently lit
and peaceful in her slumber. It is only a matter of time now. We
gather around her bedside, mesmerized by her every breath.
Every time she exhales, time stops. We stand frozen, waiting
for the faint sounds of just one more blessed breath being
drawn into her lungs.
“I love you so much, Mommy – so much,” I whisper.
Death is near. I can feel it approaching. It’s getting closer.
I know it’s coming. I want time to stand still. I want to fight it
off. But death always wins. Time does not stand still and there
is no fight to be won. Death arrives quietly as, ever so faintly,
my beautiful mother exhales her finishing breath. The machine
monitoring her heart lets out the cry of finality as the endless
beeping fills the room. She is gone. Mommy is really gone.

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