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Chapter 27

The Great Transformation was exactly what it sounded like.
The entire universe was enlightened in a single moment. Well,
not exactly the entire universe. Of course, with any grand scale
endeavor there are bound to be exceptions. There were some
people who, for whatever reason, were immune to
enlightenment. They simply could not grasp the concept of

being part of the greater whole. They coveted being an entire
smaller whole. Yet, for inexplicable reasons, they could not
fathom the idea that the entire whole they were was smaller. It
was as if the reason for their inability to experience
enlightenment was due to their poor comprehension of scale.

A Drunk Monk who had a particular penchant for Triple-ale

came up with a brilliant explanation that should have even
made sense to those challenged by scale. It was called the Ass-
Over-Teakettle Theorem. He explained that if you were a
complete megalomaniac and assigned yourself a value of ten-
trillion and then assigned every other object in the known
universe a value of one-ten-thousandth, then you would still
pale in importance to the cumulative value of the universe. One
galaxy and all of its singularities, binary stars, quasars, pulsars,
stars, planets, dwarf planets, asteroids, comets, moons, etc.

would cumulatively outweigh your self-aggrandized importance
to an astronomical factor. Yet, because certain people cannot