Page 45 - E-Modul Speaking

Decide what’s off limits

For all of us there are some parts of our lives and histories that are too close to the bone,

too embarrassing, too revealing. Work out beforehand where your boundaries lie. It’s OK to
have some parts of your story “off limits”. Everyone will have a different line in the sand.

Similar to when you go to an auction, work out your upper limit in terms of divulging
personal information. Do this well in advance and certainly before you get to the venue.

Writing down the aspects of your story that should remain off limits helps because on the
day it can be easy to get caught up in the event and divulge very intimate and sensitive

material that you later regret.

If you do say more than you intended to, take care of yourself. It can feel very vulnerable

or embarrassing. Take note and reassess your boundaries. It’s also OK to experiment with
these limits – you’ll discover your boundaries by going over them sometimes!

Consider how you will talk about others

Everyone’s stories are interwoven – it may be difficult to tell your story without talking

about others. If you are going to talk about others, you should get their permission or

rigorously conceal their identity. Part of this is actually about protecting yourself from
accusations of defamation or breach of privacy, as well as shielding others from unwanted

exposure and embarrassment.

On the other hand, some people will be open to being part of your story (especially

people who come out looking good!).

Decide what name you want to use

It’s worth putting some thought into what name you want to use. You might be
completely comfortable using your full name, or you may have a version of your name that

you keep for this context (or keep away from this context) – e.g. a maiden name or particular

form of your name, e.g. Bob/Robert.

You may not want to use your surname at a public event for privacy reasons, but this has
an unexpected downside – it can reinforce a common community impression that people

diagnosed with ‘mental illness’ are child-like (because it’s common for children to be

44