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Sefer Chafetz Chayim םייח ץפח רפס
Ilustrative Examples םירויצ
Example 8 ט רויצ

father in law, namely, if this observer is aware of the bride’s internal ,וֹל תוֹלּגל רָתּמ ,ןידּ תיבּ יִפּ לע םִא יִכּ ,רבדּ םוּשׁ וֹמצעֵמ
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medical condition and this condition is hidden from the groom,
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this observer in disclosing the problem to the groom is not suspect םירִאֹבְמה םיִטרְָפּהֵמ טרְָפּ םוּשׁ רסחי אלֶֹּשׁ ,רהזִּל ךְירִצ ךְא
at all for violating the esur of Rechilut, however the speaker may 'גה טרְָפּה הזל ךְירִצדּ הארְנ םגּ ,'ב ףיִעס 'ט ללכִבּ ליֵעל
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not neglect to conform to all of the conditions listed above (in the
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9 Kelal) and (as I repeated them) in the 8 notation of the Be’er םִא לבא .היִּמרְ וֹבּ ןיא ,ןָתחה דצִּמֶּשׁ עדַיֶּשׁ ,וּניהדּ ,ל"נּה
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Mayim Chayim. Similarly, if this observer hears that this bride’s ךְוּדִּשּׁה לֵטּביו ,ןָתחה ינזאבּ וּלבּקְַתי וירָבדֶּשׁ ,האוֹר אוּה
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family is not restrained (to follow the laws of the Torah, meaning
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they are irreligious) and it is well known that this is a significant תוֹלּגל רוּסא )די( ,הֶנֲעַמוּ הָנֲעַט םוּשׁ יִלְבּ הֶז רוּבֲע וֹמְצַעֵמ
obstacle to the marriage, the observer is obligated to tell this to the
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groom and there is no need to conform to the conditions listed above םימ ראבִבּ ןיּעו ,םיִטרְָפּה לכּ וּצבּקְַתיֶּשׁ יוּצמ וֹניאדּ ,וֹל
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(in the 9 Kelal) (see what I wrote in the 9 notation of this Be’er .םייּח
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Mayim Chayim) except for the condition that the speaker must first
assess the reaction to his disclosure and decide whether or not the
groom will accept his “report” \ that the groom will listen to him.
Very often in an engagement we find these kinds of remarks will not םייח םימ ראב
be accepted, that the other side will not pay any attention to what ח"מבב 'ט ללכב ליעל 'יע .האור אוה םא )גי(
he said and those remarks will inevitably only lead to Rechilut (for
which the speaker now becomes culpable). .ז"ט ק"ס
לכ ומלשוי םא וליפאד .ול תולגל רוסא )די(
Daily Halacha: 28 Tevet, 28 Eyar, 28 Elul; Leap Year- 9 Shevat, 18 Eyar, 28 Elul
רשפא יא כ"פעא ,'ב ףיעס 'ט ללכב ל"נה םיטרפה
E3/8. But if this observer \ speaker realizes from the circumstances
of the engagement that the prospective father in law is deceiving the וליפאד ,תולגל רתומ אהיש ןפוא הז ןינעב רייצל
groom, either in the size of the dowry or the amount of support he will אוהש המ לכש רמאש ומצעב ןתוחמהמ עמש םא
give the couple, it is very, very, important to first think through this רבד םוש ןתיל ותעדב ןיאו םינפל קר וניא חיטבמ
entire matter before disclosing this to the groom. Many conditions
must first be satisfied (before this disclosure can be made). (1) The ךירצ לכל םדוק אהד ,הז תולגל רוסא כ"פעא ,הזב
observer \ speaker must first carefully consider whether or not the יפכמ רתוי ורוביד ידי לע השעמ השעי אלש עדיש
prospective father in law is really deceiving the groom. Meaning, ד"בב וילע דיעמ היה םא ןיד תיב יפ לע אצוי היהש
that the observer clearly knows the personality of the prospective
father in law and knows he has an evil nature or that he is very poor 'י ללכבו ינש קלחב 'ט ללכב ליעל ונבתכ רשאכ
or that he clearly heard from him explicitly that his promises are היה םאד טושפ הזו ,הזל תורורב תויארב 'א קלחב
only a front (that he lied about his intentions to support the couple). ךודישה לטבתמ היה אל ןיד תיבל הזכ השעמ אב
(The observer should not make a snap judgment that just because
this father is relatively poor he certainly will not be able to fulfill םא( ןיד תיבל ץוח רמאש ןתוחמה תרימא ליבשב
his dowry obligation or his pledge to support the couple. Often in ןתיל ותעדב ןיאש ןיד תיבב וירבד רמוא היהש אל
these circumstance we see these kinds of men honor their pledge
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