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Sefer Chafetz Chayim םייח ץפח רפס
Ilustrative Examples םירויצ
Example 6 י רויצ

understanding of Torah. (And if the father did go to rabbis to assess קזיה םוש ול בבסל רוסאו ,םילבהה וירוביד לע
the groom’s level of Torah achievement, they are obligated to report
back truthfully to the bride’s father because from the very outset this ,ומצעב ןתוחמהמ עמש אל םא ןכש לכו )הז רובע
is what both of them want (10) (the groom and the bride’s father) ראשו ערה ועבט ינפמ וא ,ול ורפיס םירחאש קר
and since this father did not require the testing of this groom, that ללכ הזב ברעתהל ול ןיא יאדוב ,הזב אצויכ םירבד
is just what he wanted (meaning, he wants the groom just as he is).
[Setting this all aside, an observer who wants the license to report .ומע ךדתשנ רבכש רחא
what he knows about this groom to the bride’s father because he
cannot bear watching an injustice about to be committed against his
fellow Jew, since the matchmakers completely deceived the bride’s .לולא ט"כ ,רייא ט"י ,טבש 'י - תרבועמ הנש .לולא ט"כ ,רייא ט"כ ,תבט ט"כ - הטושפ הנש :ימוי חול
father, this observer must first assess the veracity of the bride’s
father’s commitment regarding the dowry the father is giving, the םייחה רוקמ
level at which he promised to support this couple and the extent of
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the clothing he promised to buy them. He must assess whether or עדֵוֹי אוּהֶשׁ ןוֹגכּ ,תוֹלּגל רָתּמֶּשׁ )וט( ריּצי םיִמעְפִלו .י
not it is accurate \ true and that the father will not hold back or renege היוּלגּ הּניא רֶשׁא ,תיִמינְפּ הלחמ הּל שׁי - תכדּשְׁמהֶשׁ
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any part of the dowry pledged to the groom. In a routine sense, one
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should not rush into this permissibility (and disclose anything to וּמלְשׁיֶּשׁ ,רהזִּל ךְירִצ ךְא .הזִּמ עדֵוֹי וֹניא ןָתחהו ,לֹכּל
the father) because many of these fathers do not keep their (entire)
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word and this idea of “injustice” is irrelevant since just as the groom תא עדַי אלֹ םִאו .'ב ףיִעס 'ט ללכִבּ ל"נּה םיִטרְָפּה הזבּ
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is deceiving the bride’s father, so too is the bride’s father deceiving יִכּ ,תוֹלּגל וֹל ןיא )זט( ,םירִֵחֲאֵמ עַמָשׁ קרַ ,וֹמְצַעֵמ רָבָדַּה
the groom and each deception cancels out the other. In conclusion,
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apart from all of this, the observer is obligated to conform to all of וֹמצעֵמ ןידּ הֶשֲׂעי אלֹ ןָתחהֶשׁ ,רֵעַשְׁמ אוּהֶשׁ ןפֹאבּ םִא
the conditions listed above in the 9 Kelal, in the 2 halacha]. םגו ,בֵטיה הז רחא רקֹחיו שֹחיֶּשׁ קרַ ,ךְוּדִּשּׁה תא לֵטּבל
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.'ב ףיִעס 'ט ללכִבּ ל"נּה םיִטרְָפּה ךְירִצ הזבּ
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Be’er Mayim Chayim
(E3/6/1)-(7) .. no culpability whatsoever (his disclosure is
immune) for violating the esur of Rechilut: Even if (his disclosure םייח םימ ראב
is voluntary \ unsolicited) and the other side \ the bride’s side did not ask ידיחי קר וניא םא וליפאו .תולגל רתומש )וט(
him at all.
ןניכירצמד אהד ,תולגל רתומד רשפא כ"ג ,רבדב
(E3/6/2)-(8) .. all of the conditions listed above: Because damage
is more likely to occur under these circumstances, I will repeat them here תא ריכמ אוהד אכיה( םינש אקוד ה"ס 'ט ללכב
explicitly with some additional elaboration: (1) The observer must clearly ומצעמ השעמ השעיש ול רפסמ אוהש שיאה עבט
know the groom’s “significant shortcoming” is an actual medical illness,
meaning to exclude the groom who is only physically weak by nature, as י"ע בבסל יאשר וניאד םושמ ונייה )ורוביד י"פע
Chazal teach in Gemara Nedarim (49b) “the ill and the weak among the תושעל יאשר היה אל ןיד תיב יפ לעש רבד ורוביד
rabbis...(i.e., weak from learning)” is not categorized as “sickness.” (2)
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