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Sefer Chafetz Chayim
Hilchot Esurei Lashon Hara

Kelal Dalet - Halachah 1

citation beginning with the words “He told”) that Yehudah Ben Garim had
no intention, G‑d forbid, of saying anything that would embarrass Rebbe
Shimon Bar Yochai, that his remark was innocently made in casual passing
in the privacy of his own home, but his remark became known outside of
his home. Here, too, in this case, the remark may not be made unless the
listener is a Chacham who is known for his discretion and would certainly
not repeat the remark to anyone. Then, under these circumstances, it is
permissible to make this remark as long as the speaker had no intention to
denigrate this person and as long as the speaker knows the remark would
not diminish the esteem of this person in the eyes of the listener.

And don’t question what I said using as your source the Rabbeinu Yonah in
Shaare Teshuvah (3rd sha’ar, section #214, as cited above) who comments as
follows: “If one discloses to others uncomplimentary details of someone’s
past family history, not in this person’s presence, with intentions to defame
this person, etc.,” but the implication is that if the speaker had no intention
of defaming this person, then the remark is permissible. Don’t say this
because it is wrong! Rabbeinu Yonah’s intention is to clarify his comment
regarding the essential seriousness of the esur of Lashon Hara. He deals
with this subject in section #216 as follows: One who speaks Lashon
Hara creates two problems: First, he inflicts both damages to and causes
the embarrassment of the person who is the subject of his Lashon Hara.
Second, the intent of the speaker’s remarks is to indict this “victim” and
publicly portray him as an evil person. Rabbeinu Yonah in Section #214
of Shaare Teshuvah only wants to explain that part of the esur of Lashon
Hara that relates to damaging or shaming the victim.

A proof that this was the intent of Rabbeinu Yonah in section #214 is
that he specifically teaches (in section #215) that one is not permitted to
disclose the transgressions of a person if the speaker has any doubt that
perhaps this person did Teshuvah. However his actions can be disclosed to
a Chacham who is known to be discrete and will not disclose this person’s
actions to anyone else. One should be wary and keep a distance from
this person until one can determine that this person (did Teshuvah and)
turned away from his prior evil lifestyle. But there is an implication that
if this Chacham is not discrete, even if the speaker’s intentions are not to
denigrate this person, but rather his intention was to keep the Chacham at
a distance away from this person for now, nevertheless the speaker may
not disclose this person’s actions to the Chacham. The reason being that
this Chacham will disclose what he hears to other people since he is not

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