Page 23 - ParentsWorld June 2020

nurturing 21st Century Children
asK your

Counselor

What’s the right age for Sue atKinS

GOOD & BAD TOUCH TALK?

What’s the right age to have the necessary good and not a one-time conversation. it needs to be constantly
bad touch talk with children? recently, my child’s reiterated.
school announced that it was organising such a talk
for kindergarten children. My 14-year-old has been diagnosed with type 1
— Roshni C, Chennai diabetes. he is very distraught and wants to keep the
Although children are most vulnerable between the ages diagnosis a secret. how do i convince him that it is ok
of seven and 13, there are sexual predators who target for his friends and other people to know?
victims as early as infancy. therefore, the best time to — Rohan Jo, Chennai
talk to your child about good and bad touch is as soon early adolescence is a vulnerable period for onset of
as they are capable of understanding your words but it’s type 1 diabetes aka juvenile diabetes. Blood glucose
best to keep information age-appropriate. management through diet, exercise and insulin injection
Here are some pointers: presents unique challenges for teens. And that’s why it is
• educate children about the names of their different very important that your son tells his friends, teachers,
body parts — private and not private. don’t shy away and extended family about his condition to enable them
from using the correct anatomical names e.g, breasts, to assist him if there’s a health-related emergency.
vagina, buttocks, penis. in addition, adolescence is wrought with social and
• help your child identify good touch: e.g, hand holding, behavioural changes. encourage two-way communica-
hugging, high fives. Although these are generally accept- tion, listen to his problems empathetically and constantly
able, if they make them feel uncomfortable, then they are reassure him of your full support and love. Perhaps you
not okay. could also make an appointment to discuss his diabetes
• explain about bad touch that hurts or leaves a bruise, condition with his teachers.
cut, or burn (e.g, hitting, kicking, pushing). it is not okay
for other children to push/hit/kick and if an adult does, My ten-year-old daughter is very susceptible to peer
it’s physical abuse. pressure. i’m afraid this is dangerous as she enters
• it is not okay for adults or older children to touch her teen years. Please advise.
other children’s private organs or for adults/older chil- — Riya Sen, Kolkata
dren to make them look at or touch their genitals. it’s normal for pre-teens to experience this behavioural
• give your child examples to evaluate if they can iden- phase during which there’s overwhelming desire to fit
tify a good and bad touch. into the peer group. But it’s important that you boost
What should children do about bad touch? your daughter’s confidence and encourage her to stand
• explain to your child that she can say “no” or “Stop” her ground. Without being preachy, advise her that it’s
or “i don’t like that” or “don’t touch me” and/or run okay to be assertive and independent. Spend quality time
away. Practice this with role play. with her doing ‘ing’ Activities — cooking, playing,
• educate your child that sometimes the person touching talking, laughing, eating together, listening — to
a child inappropriately will warn her to keep it a secret. stay connected with her while encouraging her to make
instruct them that this is not an acceptable secret and independent decisions to build confidence.
should always be shared with a trusted adult.
• help your child identify adults who they could talk to if (Sue atkins is a uK-based internationally recognised parenting
someone has touched her inappropriately. expert, broadcaster, speaker and author of Parenting Made easy
• remember that talking about good and bad touch is — how to raise happy children (2012))

parentsworld • june 2020 24