Page 46 - Digital Cornice Grade 9

SLAM

The Terrifying Thought

By: Lavanyaa Nepal

It started with saying ‘no’ to one thing
“Oh it's no big deal”
Cutting down for a week, turned into months
Until she realized that…. it's got her
She has been consumed by it
Every little thought in her mind shifted to that ‘one’ very
thing
The thing that terrified her the most

She missed the pure joy of the first skipped meal
The pride that once filled her turned into remorse

But one meal didn’t make a difference, did it?
Once, twice, thrice, they were all skipped
And with time
Started to crave that hunger even more
It became the very thing that satisfied her, consumed her
Made her feel like she was trying

But you see, this mere satisfaction didn't last forever
She became addicted
Had successfully lost herself
Given in to the standards caused by society

All her hair started to fall out
Every time she ran her fingers through it
The chunks of it on her hand
And the cherry on top, dizziness, nausea, fatigue

Nothing she tried, worked
Or maybe she just wasn’t trying hard enough

She failed to accept it
But the little girl inside her was gone
Still, all that didn’t stop her
It would be simple if it did, wouldn't it?

See but that’s the thing
Now she is unable to go back
This cycle, this emptiness
She’s stuck with it forever
Trapped, suffocated, in pain.