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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander # רדנלדירפ םייח ברה 1
A Peaceful Home ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
ntroroctcon םינינעה יכות

of their marriage even though as of now the importance of these
topics is not yet clear to them. Therefore, they have a responsibility
to themselves and to their future wives to pay close attention to the
content of each chapter, they should read through it and commit םינינעה ןכות
these words to their memory and their inner hearts so that they
will be able to apply these lessons when the time comes and they
encounter these kinds of situations, and with Hashem’s help derive
the maximum benefit from them.
דומע
Young married men who heard the lectures I gave to Chatanim
have told me that when they heard them they thought to themselves 18 המדקה
“These lessons on married-life behavior are not relevant to me
because these issues will never arise in my married life.” However, 28 וֹדּ ְג ֶנ ְכּ ר ֶז ֵע וֹל הֹ ֶש ֱע ֶא .א רמאמ ןוֹשׁא ִר ק ֶר ֶפּ
after they were married they saw the great value of all of these
lectures and how they benefitted from them. 34 וּנּ ֶמּ ִמ ה ָנוֹשׁ - וֹדּ ְג ֶנ ְכּ .ב רמאמ
Of course it is possible to obtain most of the knowledge gained 36 י ִתי ֵבּ - י ִתּ ְשׁ ִא .ג רמאמ
from these lessons by experiencing the pitfalls in marriage directly
from life’s lessons, from the failures and successes that come over 50 תי ִשׁ ְג ִר ָה ה ָשׁי ִגּ ַבּ ֶשׁ תוּפי ִד ֲע ָה .ד רמאמ
the course of years, as was said (Gemara Gittin 43a) “There is no 52 "וֹפוּגּ ִמ ר ֵתוֹי הּ ָד ְבּ ַכ ְמ" .ה רמאמ
wise person like the person who has endured life’s challenges,” and
“no man understands the words of Torah unless he first stumbles 54 "סוּיּ ִפּ ת ֶל ֶבּ ַק ְמ ה ָשּׁ ִא ָה יי ֵא" .ו רמאמ
in them.” (Yet sadly we see fools who don’t even learn from life’s
tests and failures [Mishle 26:11] “Like a dog who returns to his 58 "שׁי ִא ָה י ִמ ר ֵתוֹי ה ָני ִבּ הּ ָבּ י ָתּ ִנ" .ז רמאמ
vomit, a fool repeats his foolishness”). However, there is a better
way to succeed in a marriage relationship, and that is to prepare
for it in advance and learn techniques that will prevent the onset 62 ל" ַצַז שׁי ִא-ןוֹז ֲח ַה ן ָר ָמ ל ֶשׁ וֹב ָתּ ְכ ִמ י ִנ ֵשׁ ק ֶר ֶפּ
of conflict before conflict occurs and thus come to a state of a
wholesome relationship from the very inception of their marriage. 64 וֹתּ ְשׁ ִא ת ֶא ח ַמֹּ ִש ְו .א רמאמ
And if you ask “What is so different about this generation that it 68 ?הּ ָח ְמּ ַשׂ ְמ ד ַצי ֵכּ .ב רמאמ
needs direction, something that we’ve never before heard of in
earlier generations?!” There are several answers to this question 74 ה ָחיֹ ִש יוּבּ ִר י ֵדְי ל ַע בוּר ֵק .ג רמאמ
and I will briefly mention some of them. Our young people have
never experienced the hardships of life that tested the youth in the 82 תוּדּ ְח ַא ְת ִה ְל תוּל ְדּ ַתּ ְשׁ ִה - ה ָנוֹשׁא ִר ה ָנ ָשׁ .ד רמאמ
previous generation or in the generations prior to it, therefore, they 86 ה ָמי ִע ְנוּ ה ָבוֹט ַחוּר .ה רמאמ
are less prepared to endure hardship. In our current generation
when everything develops at a rapid pace people look for quick 90 לאֹמֹ ְש דַי ל ֶא יי ִמָי דַי ְכּ - וֹתּ ְשׁ ִא ל ֶא ס ַחַי .ו רמאמ

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