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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander
A Peaceful Home
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on, and if he does not fulfill these responsibilities he is slighting his
wife and damaging her. Therefore the main effort for establishing
a family is in the perfection of interpersonal attitudes and character
traits. This is certainly not an easy task, as the Gaon Rabbi Yisrael
Salanter ZT”L said that it is easier to complete the learning of the
entire Shas than to change one personality trait.
However, the Torah and our Rabbis Z”L help us change and refine
our character when we embark on building a family. The Torah
gives us the mitzvah (Devarim 24:5) “and you shall make happy
the woman you took as your wife.” And when there is a mitzvah –
there is also help from Shamayim to implement the fulfillment of the
mitzvah - that we should be able to mature and emerge out of a self-
centered mindset and devote our attention to a wife and make her
happy. The entire reason for the mitzvah of Seven Days of Wedding
Celebration during which time the husband is not permitted to do
any work is for him not to lose his focus and thought on pleasing his
wife and making her happy.
Through the mitzvah of making the groom and bride happy –
meaning, the mitzvah of Seven Days of Wedding Celebration - the
entire community helps the new couple to endow their relationship
with an atmosphere of happiness, and in this atmosphere of happiness
good and pleasant personality traits will be able to develop in the
couple’s relationship because happiness opens up one’s heart. We
elevate the Chatan – who is comparable to a king, particularly in
his responsibility to his new wife – and we praise him in order to
emphasize the good qualities that reside latent within him which he
is capable of developing and needs to develop. The sins of a groom
and bride are all forgiven in order for them to open a new page in
their lives and change for the good.
During those days of Simcha the groom and bride each wants to
make their spouse happy and give each other a sense of pleasure.
In this sense our teacher and rabbi, the Tzadik Gaon Rabbi Eliyahu
Dessler ZT”L would tell the couple during this period of the Seven
Days of Wedding Celebration (referencing his sefer Michtav
M’Eliyahu, volume 1, page 39) “My dear precious ones, be very
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רדנלדירפ םייח ברה
ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק 1
this entire journey, in his letter of introduction to Rabbi Aharon
Feldman and to the Friedlander family, in his guidance giving us
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continuous direction at every step in this process, in shepherding us
around the hurdles that confronted us at various times during this
period and for adding his own words of advice to Chatanim that
appear at the end of this sefer in quoting Rav Shach.
The technical team that produced this sefer is phenomenal. My
sincerest appreciation goes to Mr. Efrayim Babbi in Bnei Brak for
his graphical layout and for the physical printing and production
of the sefer in Holon. Mrs. Esther Ludmir in Jerusalem typed and
vowelized the entire Hebrew text as there was no existing electronic
file of the Kuntres. Ms. Reena Abady’s pleasing creativity and
design expertise went into the creation of the cover artwork. Mr.
David Benoliel has been a consistent resource laying the basic
graphic foundation for the cover artwork. Mr. Liad Maccabi’s
web design allows the sefer to be read anywhere in the world. My
special thanks go to the principals of E.S. Originals and to Mr.
Meyer Elnadav and Mr. Sol Roxas in the IT department for their PC
support in the manuscript’s preparation and communication.
Lastly, I am in awe of my dear wife and family for once again
giving me precious time and their understanding and patience to
focus on this work. May the One who is All good bless them all
and all their families with His good and His Beracha for good at all
times, Amen.
Our Tefilah is that this sefer should accomplish all of the good goals
that were intended for it in cultivating Shalom Bayit throughout
Klal Yisrael, both in this English edition and in its companion
Spanish edition.
Yedidya Levy
Elul 5778
Congregation Mazal Elul
7. Rosh Yeshivat Ner Yisrael, Baltimore, MD
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