Page 18 - May June 2022 Newsletter FINAL_Neat

Taking Leave

Randall Weingarten, MD
Adj. Clinical Prof. of Psychiatry

Stanford Psychiatry & Behavioral Sciences

Despite good heath, and constant gratitude for the opportunity to help people
with significant mental health issues, I chose to retire at the end of May.2022.
This coincided with turning 80, or rather- ‘entering the 8 decade of living’.
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I had noticed aspects of vanishing memory along with a deeper savoring of
times away from practice and of being together with my wife and adult children.
While others in retirement seem energized by pilgrimages, by life-style activities long in the
background or by tending the gardens of new opportunities, I find myself drawn to the sense of the
unknown, as it may present itself to or within me.

However, what is most moving for me at this moment is the sheer act of taking leave of my patients
and they with me.

Although I’m aware of a multitude of writings on Termination, as well as concerns related to the
specifics of ending in mutually respectful responsible ways, I’m drawn to the calling to be responsive
to what my patients are experiencing and need.

I’ve been struck by how some react with dismay and forms of anger, or accusations of being left alone,
deserted. Although there may be longer-standing issues of abandonment, or the adversity of being
adversely treated, left alone in an empty house, or simply dismissed without care, there is also the
sense of “this is not what I bargained for; you are initiating the leaving, not me. “

The dismay may sometimes take the form of their losing a sense of ‘my being part of them’, an
accessory person within or beside them, a part of their inner family life.
Others are delighted for me, well-wishing, and genuinely appreciative of the work we did together.
Some are matter of fact, eager for precise information-regarding referral and for continued sources of
medication management. In short: for being taken care of.
As the end comes nearer, there is a magical wish to take something away -a gift, an image, an
expression of being truly cared for.

I sense this is a human desire not only to be recognized, known, cared for in a genuine, intimate way,
but to be honored.

It is an honor for me to have been able to contribute to ‘Musings Beyond the Couch” and to have
known so many of you as valued colleagues and dear friends.

NORTHERN CALIFORNIA PSYCHIATRIC SOCIETY Page 18 May/June 2022