Page 46 - SILFlip

Along with the balance we seek comes the relief of receiving in return the that which creates a sense of security and constancy.
And then one day it all clicks and the promise or commitment is made; and what happens is that the very security you obsessed over obtaining moves off the priority list because it’s hard to maintain that obsessive interest and pay the bills, take care of your living space, do that project from work, etc.
This is the point, the moment of reassurance that our love is secure and reciprocal, that we begin to disappoint one another. The security we hinally achieve causes us to shift our focus off what we have to do to obtain that security, to the distractions which make us forget that we need to do things which maintain that security. We presume our partner knows we are there for them. That, by the way, is normal. You cannot live your whole life engaging in an obsessive preoccupation about the security of your relationship. That would be self limiting and unhealthy—not to mention annoying to your partner. There comes a point at which you must know in your heart that your partner is there for you — but it isn’t that simple, and it also helps to be reminded once in awhile.
Outward Expressions of Love and Devotion
Every relationship partner learns what their other half looks for in terms of outward expressions of security and comfort. It isn’t the same for everyone and like much of what we have been talking about, it is often different in the beginning than it is as time goes by.
Staying in Love: Secret Recipes For Making Love Last 46