Page 80 - SILFlip

selhishly or ungratefully and you would just have to roll with it — sometimes that is not healthy. Selhish and abusive relationships should not be tolerated; and if you are in one you should extract yourself from it.
A person who loves someone can show compassion, understanding, forgiveness and patience without receiving either gratitude or reciprocity (which is a fancy way of saying getting the same in return) in ways that are above and beyond what they would do for anyone else. However, there comes a point where there is some expectation that those elements of love are returned in some proportion even if not equal .
Unconditional love, I say, is “theoretical and aspirational, but impractical.” There are people who disagree, and you might think that since I made such a big deal out of “re-dedication,” I might be sounding a bit hypocritical. Listen to what I am saying though:
Put your aspirations and energies into loving with dedication and conviction, but make sure your love relationship is not one-sided.
When I talk about “equity and balance” in relationship transactions, those transactions do not have to be mathematically equal but they do have to be “fair.” If you think you can love someone forever without getting anything in return because of some notion of unconditionality, you will become disappointed and resentful — even if you are in most ways a superhuman relationship partner. We all need the things that good love provides.
Staying in Love: Secret Recipes For Making Love Last 80