Page 85 - SILFlip

“How many times do I have to go shoe shopping before you come with me to buy a new digital camera?”
When partners say things like:
“I wish my partner was more sensitive to...”
and hill in the blank with something like:
...that I need to know what’s on his/her mind
...that I need time to myself away from the kids and everyone else ...that I need to participate in things that stimulate my thinking ...that I need to have more sex
...I am exhausted at the end of the day and I need rest
These statements are requests for effort to re-balance, and repair something that is seen as unfair or inequitable. Sometimes the request for effort is substantial and inconvenient. Sometimes the request is not so substantial but there is resistance to it anyway. For instance:
“I wish my partner was more sensitive to the fact that I really wish he/ she would just ask me ‘How was your day?’ ”
When a partner makes this kind of request to their signihicant other, they are telling you that they want you to engage them.They are telling you that they want to know you are interested in them. They are asking you to return to the point in time when you did this
Staying in Love: Secret Recipes For Making Love Last 85