Page 53 - The Intentional Parent

Summary
One of your most important family leadership roles is to promote growth and development by appreciating your child’s need for developing independence and autonomy through appropriate responsibility taking. Your intentional efforts come with understanding that promoting healthy autonomy impacts physical and mental health, productivity, and the give and take necessary to be a loving participant in important relationships.
As a family leader you want the importance of good judgement and decision making to be part of your everyday interactions with your kids. Rather than giving permission first, then seeing if your kids can handle it, it is better to teach children that you are always observing how responsible they are, and as a result will provide permission and freedom as a natural consequence of what you see every day. Your permissiveness is a reflection of their behavior so if you see a lack of responsibility taking there will be more limits imposed on their behavior until you can see that their level of responsibility has changed for the better.
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 53