Page 54 - The Intentional Parent

Chapter Five Communicating Expectations
T he most important fact that parents need to know about parental expectations is that if you want your child to succeed, those expectations should be high. Children will
work harder when their parents expect them to. This is a very important leadership concept because either your children will lead you to accept their point of view of what they can achieve, or you will motivate them to achieve what you know they can achieve.
Reality Testing and Overcoming Resistance to Challenge and Frustration
The intentional aspects of communicating expectations require a balance between good reality testing, and helping your child overcome resistance to challenging themselves.
By good reality testing, it is important to develop realistic expectations about your child’s abilities. Never use just one person’s opinion (and by that I mean including just your own) with respect to evaluating your child’s abilities and talents. Also, understand that “abilities” refer to a vast range of skills and talents -- your child might excel in some areas, and have less skill in other areas. That is how it is for most of us.
As much as you might want to think the saying “We can all do anything we want to as long as we puts our minds to it,” is a key to success, I do not think this is always true, but I won’t go so far as to say it is completely false. Motivation and perseverance are important and that’s what can make the difference between a less
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 54