Page 56 - The Intentional Parent

questions! I am going to give you some guidance by talking to you about intentions and actions within a leadership framework.
Effective leadership requires that you know the strengths and limitations of the people you lead, as well as the influences of the environment that they are operating in. In addition, there is a third process that often works independently of this, and that is your your own personal system of values and beliefs about the importance of hard work, and a person’s ability to do that hard work, even if it causes discomfort.
Trudging through a frustrating task even though it might be uncomfortable, even painful builds character. I am emphasizing that as a parent and leader, it is up to you to teach your child to develop the strength of perseverance. When you do that, you actually help develop independence and self-reliance in your child. It is during the difficult times we encounter that we have to rely most on ourselves, achieve success under pressure, and push ourselves past the discomforts a demanding situation places on us.
I believe that promoting the journey to completion of difficult tasks builds character even when it does not produce complete success, but it should always result in you emphasizing the satisfaction we achieve from knowing we tried our hardest.
Be cautious, however, of placing yourself in the position of being a demanding taskmaster who does not appreciate effort. If your lessons in this area become nothing more than a tug of war of wills, your child will react with rebellion and resentment over control issues and less on the importance of challenging oneself. If you remind yourself to appreciate your child’s efforts you are less likely to fight that battle.
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 56