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TEACHINGS | EASTERN HORIZON 19

In essence, our children offer a constant, unfiltered This awareness allows us to break cycles of unskillful
reflection of our practice. They show us, without behaviour and cultivate a deeper understanding of
hesitation, where we still cling, where we lack patience, intergenerational karma.
where our compassion falters.
Dr Shefali Tsabary, a clinical psychologist speaks of
The mirror never lies: it’s our greatest tool for self- “conscious parenting”. This approach encourages us to
realisation. see our children as our awakeners, here to reveal our
true selves and push us towards growth.
Navigating the Education Maze
Embracing conscious parenting means:
Parenting in Singapore and Malaysia brings specific
trials. The pressure of the education system, for
• Pausing before reacting: When triggered, take a
instance, challenges us to practice non-attachment to
breath. Ask yourself, “What’s really going on here?
outcomes while still supporting our children’s growth.
What part of me is feeling threatened?”
• Cultivating self-awareness: Regularly reflect on
We must find ways to provide for their needs without
your interactions with your child. What patterns do
fostering materialism, and to carve out time for formal
you notice? What childhood memories or emotions
practice amidst busy family life.
are surfacing?
• Letting go of the “perfect parent” ideal:
These challenges, while difficult, are like rich compost
Acknowledge that you’re on a journey of growth
for our Dhamma practice. They push us to apply
alongside your child.
the teachings in real-world situations, moving our
• Honouring your child’s individuality: Recognise that
understanding from seedling theory to full-grown lived
your child has their own path and purpose, separate
experience. According to Master Thich Nhat Hanh, truly
from your desires or expectations.
“No Mud, No Lotus”.

Finding the Middle Way
Each tantrum, each school stress, each busy day is an
opportunity to cultivate: As with all aspects of life, parenting calls for balance.
We aim to guide without controlling, to love without
• Patience: As we wait for our ‘garden’ to bloom in its attachment, to support growth while accepting
own time. impermanence. It’s a daily practice in finding the
• Wisdom: As we discern which ‘plants’ to nurture and Middle Way.
which to let go.
• Compassion: For ourselves, our children, and all Whether you choose to marry and have children or not,
beings facing similar struggles. the key is to approach life choices with mindfulness and
wisdom. For those who do become parents, remember
In this garden of parenthood, we’re both the gardeners that your children are not burdens or distractions from
and the plants, growing alongside our children. The the path – they are the path itself.
challenges we face are not obstacles, but the very soil in
which our practice takes root and flourishes. Every moment with them is an opportunity to practice,
to grow, to awaken. The challenges of parenthood can
Breaking Cycles, Building Wisdom deepen our understanding of the Four Noble Truths in

profound ways.
Parenthood also offers a unique opportunity to
recognise and heal our own childhood wounds. As we
So, to my fellow Buddhist parents and parents-to-
interact with our children, we often see reflections of
be: embrace this journey. Let your children be your
our past experiences.
teachers. And may your path, filled with nappies