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8 EASTERN HORIZON | TEACHINGS

when you’ve lost a contest—in Forgiveness is a stance you may • The third tactic is to take on
the Buddha’s time, this referred have to make unilaterally, within the five precepts: no killing, no
primarily to military battles, but yourself, but there is the possibility stealing, no illicit sex, no lying,
now it could be extended to any that the other side will be inspired and no taking intoxicants.
competition where loss entails harm, by your example to stop slinging Ever. At all. As the Buddha
whether real or only perceived—and mud as well. That way, both sides notes, when you hold to these
you want to get even. will benefit. Yet even if the other precepts in all your encounters
side doesn’t immediately join in the with others, regardless of who
In both cases, forgiveness is what cease-fire, there will come a time they are or what they’ve done,
puts an end to vera. You resolve not when they lose interest, and that you give universal safety from
to settle the score, even if society particular back-and-forth will die. danger and vera—at least from
grants you the right to do so, your quarter—to all beings.
because you realize that, from the The Buddha recommends three And because that safety is
point of view of karma, the only real tactics to help you deal with any universal, you enjoy a share of
score in contests like this consists lingering feelings that this strategy that safety yourself.
of more bad karma points for both might leave you on the losing side,
sides. So, in forgiving the other victimized without recourse. As for the case when you’ve lost out
side, you’re basically promising in a competition, the Buddha says
yourself to forego any opportunity • The first is to remember that that you can find peace and end
to add to the score. You have no idea we’re all in the process of dying, vera only by putting winning and
how many lifetimes this particular and you don’t want thoughts losing aside. To do this, you start
karmic mud fight has been going of vera to get in the way of a by taking a good look at where you
back and forth, but you do know skillful death. The narrative that try to find happiness. If you look
that the only way to end it is to stop “He wronged me, and I won’t for it in terms of power or material
the vera, and if the end doesn’t first feel at peace until I get back possessions, there will always be
start with you, it may never arrive. at him” is not one you want to winning and losing. If you gain
focus on as death approaches— power, for instance, others will have
“He something it’s doing all the to lose. If others win, you lose. And
insulted me, time. Otherwise, you may find as the Buddha says,
hit me, yourself reborn with a vera
beat me, mission, which is a miserable Winning gives birth to vera.
robbed me” way to live a life. You’ve got Losing, one lies down in
—for those who brood on this, other, better things to do with pain. — Dhp 201
vera isn’t stilled. your time.
“He insulted me, But if you define happiness in terms
hit me, • The second tactic is to develop of the practice of merit—giving,
beat me, thoughts of infinite goodwill, virtue, and meditation—there’s
robbed me”— “free from vera, free from ill no need to create losers. Everyone
for those who don’t brood on this, will.” These thoughts lift your wins. When you give, other people
vera is stilled. mind to the level of a brahma, naturally gain what you’ve shared
Veras aren’t stilled a very high level of heavenly with them; you gain a spacious
through vera, being, and from that heightened sense of wealth within and the
regardless. perspective the idea of trying love and respect of others without.
Veras are stilled to find satisfaction in settling When you’re virtuous, abstaining
through non-vera: old scores seems—as it actually from harming anyone, you gain
this, an unending truth. — Dhp 3–5 is—petty and mean. freedom from remorse over your