Page 183 - It Ends with Us

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A few minu tes pass.

Ten, maybe?
I can’t stop crying . I still ha ven ’t moved from the bed . I’m scared to
look in the mirro r. I’m just . . . scared .
I hea r the front door open and slam shu t again. R yle appea rs in
the door way and I ha ve no idea if I’m supposed to ha te hi m.
Or be terri fied of hi m.

Or feel bad for hi m.
How can I be feel ing all three?
He pres ses hi s forehea d to our bed room door and I watch as he
hi ts hi s hea d agains t it. Onc e. Twice. Three times .
He turns and rushes at me, falling to hi s knees at the side of the
bed . He grabs both of my ha nds and he squeez es them . “Lily,” he says,
hi s who le face twisting in pain. “Pleas e tel l me it’s no thi ng .” He brings

hi s ha nd to the side of my hea d and I can feel hi s ha nd s sha king . “I
can’t take thi s, I can’t.” He lea ns for ward and pres ses hi s lips ha rd
agains t my forehea d, then res ts hi s forehea d agains t mine. “Plea se tel l
me you aren’ t seei ng hi m. Pleas e.”
I’m no t ev en sure I can tel l hi m tha t bec ause I don’t ev en want to
spea k.

He stays pres sed agains t me, hi s ha nd wrapped tight ly in my ha ir.
“It hu rts so much, Lily. I love you so much. ”
I sha ke my head , want ing the truth out of me so he’l l see wha t a
hu ge mistake he just made. “I forgot hi s nu mber was ev en there, ” I say
quiet ly. “The day after the fig ht in the res taurant . . . he came to the
store. You can ask Allysa. He was onl y there for fiv e minu tes. He took
my pho ne from me and he put hi s nu mber ins ide of it, bec ause he

didn’t bel iev e I was safe with you. I forgot it was there, R yle. I’ve nev er
ev en looked at it.”
He breathes out a sha ky breath and beg ins no dding with rel ief .
“You swea r, Lily? You swea r on our marri age and our lives and on
ev er ythi ng tha t you are tha t you ha ven’t spoken to hi m sinc e tha t

day?” He pulls back so he can look me in the ey es .
“I swea r, R yle. You overrea cted bef ore giving me the cha nc e to
ex plain, ” I say to hi m. “Now get the fuck out of my apartment .”