Page 216 - It Ends with Us

He no ds and hel ps me back int o my sho es . He pulls off his jacket

and wraps it around me, the n we walk out of the ho spital witho ut
any one no ticing .
He says no thi ng to me as we drive. I stare out the wind ow, too
ex ha usted to cry. Too in sho ck to spea k. I feel submerg ed .
Just keep swimming.

• • •

Atlas does n’t live in an apartment . He lives in a ho use. A small suburb
outside of Boston called Wel les ley, where all the ho mes are bea utiful,

sprawling , mani cured , and ex pens ive. Bef ore we pull int o hi s
drivew ay, I wond er to mysel f if he ev er marri ed tha t girl. Cas sie. I
wond er wha t she’l l thi nk of her hu sband bring ing ho me a girl he
onc e loved who ha s just been attacked by her own hu sband .
She’l l pity me. She’l l wond er why I nev er lef t hi m. She’l l wond er
ho w I let mysel f get to thi s point . She’l l wond er all the same thi ng s I
used to wond er about my own mother when I saw her in my same

situation. Peo ple spend so much time wond eri ng why the women
don’t leave. Where are all the peo ple who wond er why the men are
ev en abusive? Isn’t tha t where the onl y blame sho uld be placed ?
Atlas parks in the garage. The re’s no t ano ther vehi cle here. I don’t
wait for hi m to hel p me out of the car. I open the door and get out on

my own, and then I follow hi m int o hi s ho use. He punc hes in a code
on an alarm and then flips on a few light s. My ey es roam around the
kitchen, the dini ng room, the living room. Ever ythi ng is made of rich
woods and stainl es s steel , and hi s kitchen is paint ed a calming bluish-
green. The color of the ocea n. If I wasn’t hu rting so much, I would
smile.
Atlas kept swimming, an d look at hi m now. He swam al l the way to the
fucking Car ibbean .

He mo ves to hi s ref rigera tor and pulls out a bottle of water, walking
it over to me. He takes the lid off and ha nd s it to me. I take a drink
and watch as he turns the living room light on, then the ha llway.
“Do you live alone?” I ask.
He no ds as he walks back int o the kitchen. “Are you hu ng ry?”

I sha ke my hea d. Even if I was, I wouldn’t be able to ea t.