Page 211 - It Ends with Us

I slide to the floor nea r the door, growing dizzy. My fing ers are

sha king so ha rd, it takes thre e tries to get the password right on my
pho ne.
When I ha ve the screen up to dial a nu mber, I pause. My firs t
tho ught is to call Allysa and Marsha ll, but I can’t. I can’t do tha t to
them right no w. She just gave birth to a baby a matter of ho urs ago. I
can’t do thi s to them.

I could call the police, but my mind can’t ev en proces s wha t all tha t
ent ails. I don’t want to give a statem ent . I don’t kno w tha t I want to
pres s charges , kno wing wha t thi s could do to hi s career. I don’t want
Allysa mad at me. I just don’t kno w. I don’t complet el y rule out
ev ent ually no tifying the police. I just don’t ha ve the energ y to make
tha t dec ision right no w.
I squeez e the pho ne and try to thi nk . My mothe r.

I start to dial her nu mber, but when I thi nk of wha t thi s would do
to her I start to cry again. I can’t inv olve her in thi s mes s. She’s been
thro ugh too much. And R yle will try to find me. He’l l go to her firs t.
Then Allysa and Marsha ll. Then to ev er yone el se we kno w.
I wipe the tea rs from my ey es and then beg in dialing Atlas’s
nu mber.

I ha te mysel f more in thi s moment tha n I ev er ha ve in my ent ire
life.
I ha te mysel f, bec ause the day R yle found Atlas’s nu mber in my
pho ne, I lied and said I ha d forgotten it was there.
I ha te mysel f, bec ause the day Atlas placed hi s nu mber there, I
opened it and looked at it.
I ha te mysel f, bec ause deep down ins ide, I knew there was a cha nc e

tha t I might one day need it. So I memorized it.
“Hel lo?”
His voice is cautious. Inq uiring. He does n’t rec ogni ze thi s nu mber.
I immed iatel y start crying when he spea ks. I cover my mouth and try
to quiet mysel f.
“Lily?” His voice is much louder no w. “Lily, where are you?”

I hat e myself, becau se he knows the tear s are mine.
“Atlas,” I whi sper. “I need hel p.”
“Where are you?” he says again. I can hea r pani c in hi s voice. I can
hea r hi m walking , moving stuff around . I hea r a door slam on hi s end