Page 100 - You Only Live Once [BooksLD]

time, they want to know a story that sells, catches eyeballs and can be
spread like a rumour.

‘How did you sneak in here? It’s an all-women PG.’
‘That’s none of your concern. I wanted to share something important.’
‘What’s that?’

‘To heal, you need to accept the truth,’ he tells me as he moves away
from where I sit. ‘Uncle Ricky won’t be lying. I have known him for quite
some time. I agree he is a bit rude at times, but he has aged. Haven’t you
dealt with a grandparent before? ’

‘No, never.’
‘See, as far as I know, he was in love with your mother. I guess he still is.

He wants to believe that she is still alive, but he has come to terms with the
fact that she died long back. And all that he said in the morning makes total
sense to me.’

I sob as I look out of the window. The birds are chirping. The sun is
about to set, and it’s evening already. ‘Accept?’
‘You need to look at and accept the reality,’ he says yet again as he puts a
full stop to my apprehension.

‘I feel empty. Lost. Vulnerable.’ These are the exact words that come to
my mind.

I keep staring out of the window as tears roll down my cheeks. I do not
react, or move or respond to any of his questions. To me it’s no more than
background noise. I have always been the sunset kind of person. It was hard
for me to imagine how some people woke up so energetic in the mornings,
like Ricky. I can spend evening after evening at the park looking at the hues
of the sky, birds chirping, returning home to their little ones. At least the
birds returned to their little ones. They were not selfish like my mother. She

never bothered to return.
The distant sound of the peeling of church bells often calms one’s soul. I
haven’t known what calm means. For dictionaries can only create a recall,

but experiences leave impressions on our soul.
I pick up a diary and a pen. ‘I can’t write,’ I say and lose hold of my
breath. ‘I can’t write a single word!’

‘Relax!’