Page 6 - February 2024 Issue.indd

Dating Advice from Tell them how you feel!

Chad Dean That’s it. Thank you for coming to my
TED talk.
by Chad Dean Wait.

You might come off a little weird and
Anyone who knows me in real life will
make the situation awkward if that is

from the start find the notion of such a
what you lead with. Cold openings are
column coming from yours truly hilari-

often tough sledding, even in the Febru-
ous in theory alone, but I thought, in the
ary snow. You want cozy. Here’s cozy:

name of creative non-fiction, I would

give it a try this month. Without further Comedy helps. Confidence too. If clos-
adieu, here is a simple yet foolproof plan ing time is near and the lady next to you
so you will not be lonely for the most leans over to put her head on you just
romantic time of the year: because there is a warm body sitting
there at the bar, go with it. And when
Step 1: Create a hyperlocal facebook
she remarks that you have a comfortable
group exclusively for and about Caroline
shoulder or chest, you tell her that your
County, then start showing up at area
lips are comfortable too.
hearings, meetings, tours, restaurants

and more representing and reporting So do flowers, in the grand scheme of
back to its ever-growing membership. things, if the above-witnessed scenario I bet you never knew that side of Chad
is too 1990s Kent Island for you. You Dean existed. Horticulture and fl oricul-
Step 2. Post daily threads on this “Caro- don’t need to spring for a dozen red
line Past and Present” group about local roses right away. In fact, google the color ture are both extensions of my farming
history, travel, politics, and anything else range for roses and other fl oral arrange- background and multiple classes at the
out there that is righteously provocative ments for just the right situation. Yellow Caroline Career and Technology Center,
or at least interesting to area residents. I swear.
roses for a budding friendship. White
Step 3. Wait for the date offers to pour roses when you miss that would-be Guys: Every girl I know also likes choc-

in. special someone. Pink for admiration olate-covered strawberries. Chocolate-
if you are bold. If not, daisies if you are covered chocolate. Chocolate-covered
Of course, your results may vary. more light-hearted with your demeanor anything. Chocolate is a time-honored

If you lack the time, resources, or intan- or approach. White lilies to indicate jumping off point. You can’t go wrong.
Even diabetics and those with allergies
gibles to make this strategy work for you, sophistication. Irises if you want to stress make exceptions on special occasions.
might I suggest another path. This one is thoughtfulness. Carnations rhyme with Bonus points if one or both of you are

much more direct but assumes there is fascination.
Ridgelyites; the dramatic strawberry
someone already on your radar:
gesture shows you care on myriad levels
of consciousness.
Movies work too. If you get invited
to Netflix a romantic title, or one that

involves cats, or books, or all of the
above, you suck it up and you watch
that film. You pay attention the entire

time. You say how much you enjoyed the
nuances of the plot and characters and
dialogue and setting. Trust the narra-
tor on this; he is a perennially reliable
SELLERS OF COOL OLD STUFF one no matter where you jumped in
on his timeline. I certainly would not
have endeavored to watch Th e Guernsey
SATURDAYS, SUNDAYS & BONUS DAYS THROUGH SPRING Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society on
(*SCHEDULE SUBJECT TO CHANGES) my own.
214A MARKET STREET, DENTON, MD You know what doesn’t work? One
301-357-0226 MOESONMARKET@GMAIL.COM might proffer an unwavering dedica-

tion to Buffalo Wild Wings and a lifelong
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