Page 370 - Deception at work all chapters EBook

Dealing with Deception in Writing 319

No. Topic Question or response Comment Labels and
actions

12 3 45

114 Whatever it was the dingo She could hardly mistake a shoe Yelled

was having difficulty getting it for a baby = not consistent

out. I thought it may have had Why did she think it was her

my husband’s shoe and it was husband’s shoe when all of the

swinging by the laces. I yelled ‘go family’s shoes were in the tent?

on get out’. Thinking it would drop Yelled = emotionally consistent

it and run but only ‘yelled’ at the dingo and

not for help

‘It’ = baby

115 The thought crossed my mind that The profile is that ‘mind’ has to be

it may have still been a puppy nine regarded as an imagination and

to twelve months old and bent on not a memory

mischief Puppy = small

116 I wondered if it was the same Emotionally inconsistent. There
dingo we have seen by the fertility would be little time for conscious
thought or ‘wondering’. She
cave earlier but thought it was too would have been in a blind panic
far away. There were numerous

dingoes in the area and that

seemed too coincidental.

117 ⇑ I had paused when I first saw Why pause= not consistent and Yelled
Back the dingo after I yelled I started mentioned out of sequence
running towards the tent. After = discontinuity word
suggesting something is missing
between seeing the dingo and
‘yelling’
‘First saw’ – wrong tense
No further ‘yelling’
Ambiguous sentence does she
mean ‘I had paused. When I first
saw the dingo after I yelled …’
or ‘I had paused when I first saw
the dingo. After I yelled …’ The
meanings are totally different

118 glances back over my shoulder and Note ‘glances’ = present tense =
noticed Aiden following me, about suspect
six feet away.

119 I called there was a dingo in the Called = not emotionally Called

tent. consistent after previously

‘yelling’. Note dingo in the tent.

She does not explain how or

when the dingo succeeded in

getting out of the tent, but she

was only feet away