Page 406 - Deception at work all chapters EBook

CHAPTER

11 Golf and the Cunning Plan

Never network with an idiot.
He will drag you down to his level and then beat you through experience

Now you know

God created golf, but the Devil spoiled its perfection by letting women and Japanese tourists
find out about it. Sex, free dinners at Langan’s and other ephemeral pleasures, the hard-wiring
of the brain, Darwin and Freud, divisions between the conscious and subconscious, memory
and imagination and all that other stuff evolved so that people could play golf. Wars, rebel-
lions and terrorism are caused not by the reasons widely believed but simply because the
combatants have been denied access to God’s verdant links and deprived of Scotty Cameron
putters. In a thousand years’ time we will all look like Tiger Woods and be perfect golfing
machines. People who don’t play golf will be atrophied to be reborn as gerbils. This is what
it’s all about.

Darwin said ‘The survival of the Titleist’,1 not as widely believed ‘the fittest’

Now you know the truth. Golf is the meaning of life: an exemplar of the triumph of good
over evil: providing, of course, the opponent does not cheat – and this happens a lot.

Golf and business both bring out the worst in people

Because of golf’s deep meaning, it would be a sinful omission not to explain how the cun-
ning plan applies and, if you have not understood how it works, the great game should provide
the memory retrieval cues for a complete understanding. That is why this chapter has been
included, so if you are not a golfer, just concentrate on the by-lines and the memory retrieval
cues, which are shown in italics. If you are a golfer (bless!) visualize the golfing scenes and the
cunning plan will be encoded in your memory forever.

You can learn a lot from golf

Determine your objectives

As always, you first have to decide upon your objectives. If you are playing against your boss or
an important client, your objective will be to lose, whereas you will almost certainly want to

1 Who make Scotty Cameron putters