Page 411 - Deception at work all chapters EBook

412 Deception at Work

PLAN YOUR OWN APPROACH

Equipment

All golf clubs have numbers on them to indicate how far and how high each one should hit the
ball. The lower the number, the further and lower the ball should travel and for most golfers
(except ladies and German travel agents) clubs called woods go further than irons. You are
allowed up to 14 clubs in your bag at any time. The critical club is the putter and if you can get
the opponent to lose confidence in his, so much the better. You can do this early in the match
by having a practice putt with it. All you have to do is hit the ball really hard off the green and
into a bunker and say something like ‘Holy shit!’

Use a bit of disinformation and keep the opponent guessing

But getting back to planning. You should have all of your clubs renumbered so that your
one iron is labelled as a three, down to your eight iron which you have marked as a wedge. You
have your nine iron, wedge and sand wedge labelled as wedge a, b and c. Any metalworker will
make these changes for you. These modifications have a two-way benefit. The first is that it
will appear that with the equivalent iron you are hitting the ball much further than your op-
ponent. This will drive him into a frenzy and he will try and smash his ball to death, resulting
in loss of composure, loss of rhythm, loss of all balls, dreadful anxiety and loss of the match.
The second benefit is that if your opponent watches what club you are hitting and copies you
(or more usually takes one or two less to show off), he will always end up in the lake or the
bunker short of the green.

Make the opponent overstretch himself

Always use the most modern clubs and balls. If you have less than ten drivers and 23
putters in your garage you are not a serious golfer, so maybe this chapter is not for you. Try to
make your state of the art clubs appear as old and scruffy as possible, while not diminishing
their playing characteristics. You can do this by scraping the paint off the head and shaft, but
make sure the grips are good and the striking face clean. You can also rebrand your clubs. For
example, if you have a full set of new Calloways with gold shafts, why not stick ‘Woolworths’
transfers over them?

Have a few surprises up your sleeve

PLAN EMBLEMS AND TRANSACTIONAL ROLES

You have to decide what transactional role you plan to adopt, but to win you have to be a
Critical Parent and the opponent an Adaptive Child. Despite the fact that golfers are partial
to asinine clothing, you should dress sensibly, so don’t wear your purple flares or yellow Hush
Puppies. Appear professional, with really clean, tidy and well pressed attire. All black is a great
choice because it will remind your opponent of death and undertakers. All of this should put
you in the right transactional role.

Watch your emblems and transactional role