Page 412 - Deception at work all chapters EBook

Golf and the Cunning Plan 413

Rehearsal

Again, rehearsal is important and you should know the course backwards and have your strat-
egy clear in your mind. If you want to be a little more devious than normal, play a practice
round, by yourself or with your neighbour’s niece4 late in the evening before your big match
in the morning, or in the morning for a match in the afternoon. If you have a hideous slice
and find one, two or even 18 holes particularly difficult, you may hide a few balls (of the type
and number you will use in the match) more or less in the areas where your bad shots are likely
to land. Then, in the match, if you do hit a horror shot miles into the trees, you can find your
pre-arranged ball, more or less on the same line, but in a place where you can play it.

This is a theoretical scheme and might even be classed by the ignorant as cheating. But it
does emphasize the importance of good planning before the big day.

Planning is critical and practice makes perfect

Anyway, plan how you will play every hole and make sure you do so within your capabili-
ties. For example, If you know you cannot reach the 300 yard, over the water, par three with
one shot, plan a safety route or play on a day when the water is frozen over and you know your
scuffed shot will bounce off the ice onto the green.

Don’t try anything fancy

Execution: on the day

THE OPENING

If you have planned effectively, the match should be a cinch. As soon as you meet, consciously
examine your opponent’s emblems and especially his equipment.

If he has a one iron in his bag (Lee Trevino said that not even God with lightning could strike
a one iron) watch out. Be even more careful if he is carrying three of four different wedges:
this tells you he is a serious golfer. If he is using hard, solid core balls (such as Pinnacles or
Top Flights) you can assume he is a distance freak and therefore no danger. If he is using soft
balata balls, but has a high handicap, you know you are in for a tough game. Think about
calling in sick and hope to fight on another day.

Don’t be rushed. Take action only when you know you can win

If the opponent has really top quality kit, pull a club from his bag, take a practice swing
and hit the ground with such venom that a divot the size of a garage door smacks into his golf
trolley or over his purple flares. Apologise profusely and then say something along the lines:

‘Shit, these clubs are really heavy. How on earth can you use them?’

4 Don’t forget page [xref]. This is a memory retrieval cue