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large extent on the courtesy extended towards When being entertained in the Mess, it is
visitors in the Mess. correct for ladies to move around and
converse with hosts and guests present. If
If the visitors are unaccompanied, it is the necessary, the member should inform his wife
responsibility of the senior member present to on the etiquette to be observed in such
look after the comforts of the visitors, until the matters. On the other hand, it is also up to the
member they are visiting arrives. gentlemen to move over to the ladies, most of

whom being the wives of the member of the
The Mess steward is to be trained to attend to
the legitimate needs of a visitor promptly and Unit, and to engage them in conversation.
courteously in the absence of a member of the
Unit. CONVERSATION IN THE MESS

When guests are invited to the Mess, every Discussions of routine work matters in the
member of the Mess must remember that he is Mess are referred to as ‘talking shop’. One of
a host and it is up to him to see that no guest the oldest traditions prohibits its discussions
is neglected. He should particularly not spend in the Mess. However, work matters of
the entire evening with his own party or general interest to all are permissible subjects
partner but should move around amongst the for discussion in most Messes.
guests. This applies equally to all other Loose gossip is prohibited in the Mess.
official functions of the Unit and to which Controversial subjects such as religion or
guests are invited.
politics should not be discussed in the Mess
for fear of its adverse gastronomical

LADIES IN THE MESS consequences if not any more troublesome
results. Religion, women and politics are
It is customary for ladies to be invited to
certain special functions in the Mess, for subjects’ taboo in the Mess, as in the past
example, Mess Happy Hour, Festive differences of opinion in these matters often
leads to fights. The use of swearing words,
Celebration and so on. Any lady entering the apart from being most ungentlemanly, is
Mess is always treated with the utmost prohibited in a Mess.
courtesy.
In the presence of very senior Officers the
In certain Messes when ladies are entertained,
as on a Guest Night for example, the correct manner to adopt, is of a retiring nature.
members’ wives are normally treated as In general, care should be taken to avoid
offending him/her when relating personal
guests and the charges legitimately debited to experiences. On the other hand, be a good
the Mess guests fund. The most appropriate listener.
eating arrangement for events when ladies are
invited to the Mess is the buffet style. After
the meal, suitable games may be played such
as games of skill and so on. Simple quizzes
are also entertaining and may even be played
before going into dinner.