Page 44 - July ONLINE VERSION

Let’s take the politics and obligations out of the sce- Kindness?” The quality of being friendly or consid-
Mother, Wife, Daughter, and Friend
Hello, my name is Kaley Preshern. I am twenty-eight
years old, and I live in the Hub City, more commonly
known as Jackson, Tennessee. I grew up in the small
town of Reagan, Tennessee. What brings me to the
Hub City after all this time? My recovery now, but
then, my addiction.
Allow me to introduce myself again.
Hi, my name is Kaley, and I am an Alcoholic/Drug
addict. Most people do not like to discuss these issues
due to the stigma that follows the title of “Drug ad-
dict,” “Alcoholic,” or “Recovery.” However, for me, it
is very therapeutic. My program taught me to not feel
shame for the way I choose to live my life.
It is my responsibility to help the next person in
need. I believe the first step of this process is aware- when I did not even want to give myself a chance,
ness. I lived a double life, hiding behind pain that no
one else could see or feel, but me. On the outside it
appeared I had it all together. Raised by my aunt and
uncle, I still had nice clothes, grew up on a farm, got
involved in plenty of sports, and had decent grades.
Both my mother and father were addicts. My living
situation with my mother was unsafe so at the tender
age of eight, I went to live with my aunt and uncle.
On the inside, I felt alone, less than, and unwanted. In
high school I thought I was the most disgusting and
ugly looking girl of my class. People would compli-
ment me, and I never believed them. I could never
be happy with just Kaley. I spent a long time trying
to get rid of the shadow of shame that hung over my
head which only I could see.
As I got older, I started experimenting with alcohol
and drugs. When I used or drank, I was the life of
the party. Everybody wanted to be my friend. I felt
beautiful. I was no longer scared of being unwanted
because I did not care. I had finally found the magic
formula to fix me.
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Fast forward to the age of twenty-four. I was in a very
abusive relationship, homeless, carless, jobless, and
to top it all off, expecting. Not just pregnant, but four
months pregnant and did not even have a clue.
Fast forward again, I make it to Aspell Recovery Cen-
ter and complete all phases of their program. I am
currently celebrating three years of sobriety. I man-
aged to regain custody of my three-year-old daughter
and have married the man of my dreams. God has
blessed me beyond belief since I made the decision to
get clean and sober. Well since the courts made it for
me, until I could make the choice myself, thank God.
Now I get to be a Mother, Wife, Daughter, and Friend.
I am employed at the place that gave me a chance
Aspell Recovery Center. I have regained all the things
my addiction took from me and so much more. I can-
not wait to see what else God has in store for me.
When I was first invited to write an article on kind-
ness, I was super excited! Writing was a huge outlet
and confidence booster for me when I was younger. It
is also good practice since I will begin school this fall.
The first question I asked myself is, “What exactly is
kindness?” Kindness is the quality of being friendly,
generous, and considerate. Kindness is a kind act in
simple terms. Having had plenty of personal experi-
ence in receiving and giving kindness, I thought this
article would be easy. Wrong!
Most people consider things such as giving money,
buying extravagant gifts, or donating to your favor-
ite charity as acts of kindness. There is no argument
if these are or are not acts of kindness because they
most definitely are! However, I wanted to go a differ-
ent route with this.
ZGP Magazine
narios. Take all expectations out. Go back to a time erate. A child has no sense of real recognition. They
when things were pure and innocent. A time where may know “Yay! We used the bathroom,” but they
we had no sense or knowledge of kindness even don’t know newspapers, news channels, or social
existing. A time where there would be no recognition media. They know, hey this is my friend or family
for the acts of kindness. Where does that leave you? It member, and I want to share with them. Not because
takes me to the toddler stage. I have too, but because I want too.
As I mentioned earlier, I have a three-year-old daugh- I do not know about anybody else’s children, but my
ter. I spend a big part of my time watching her play little girl is strong willed. Especially when it’s what she
on her own and with friends. The way they share a wants or when the grandparents around. However,
snack or toy makes my heart smile. It reminds me of when it comes to her and her friends, kindness comes
the good in the world. so easy for them, and they do not even realize what
they are really doing. Kids do it simply to be kind.
I believe as we get older, our perception of the world
changes. We become aware of the bad, so we spend My daughter is my window to everyday kindness. I
much time making sure something is done about it am grateful for her every day. She shows me uncondi-
out of obligation. As a child, we just know we want tional love. She reminds me of one thing I know I am
to play, be loved, eat snacks, and spend time with doing right in life, being her mother. I may feel like
our friends. My belief is that every child should have a failure in every other aspect of my life, but Raylee
these things daily. shows me through her smile and kindness, there is
much more powerful things in this life.
Growing up, I was always taught that kids need to be
kids for as long as possible. Now that I have my own I would like to thank everyone who took the time to
mini me, I can understand why. Our basic instincts read this article. I would also like to thank Tammy
are to protect and provide for our offspring. Through Yosich for giving me the opportunity to be a part
centuries of research and development, we now know, of her work. Hope you enjoyed reading my story as
there is so much more to parenting! Things such as much as I did in writing it! Thanks, and remember
morals, values, and religious beliefs are just a few “Share!”
examples of things we work hard to instill in our little
ones.
The first thing we learn is to “Share.” “We must be
nice and share our toys with others, especially when
we have company,” I catch myself saying this to my
daughter often. Normally, she does pretty good, but
there is always that one toy she has a harder time
sharing than others. Immediately after telling her this,
she hands over the said toy to her friend or company.
From birth to age five, there is so much our little ones
learn. Walking, talking, potty training, eating on their
own. But have you ever noticed that sharing is prob-
ably one of the easiest things they pick up on? Kind-
ness is a powerful thing. I believe it is one of the last
parts of innocence we have. I also believe in order to
share; we must have some kindness in us. Period.
Think about the question I asked earlier, “What is
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