Page 45 - July ONLINE VERSION

Let’s take the politics and obligations out of the sce- Kindness?” The quality of being friendly or consid-
narios. Take all expectations out. Go back to a time erate. A child has no sense of real recognition. They
when things were pure and innocent. A time where may know “Yay! We used the bathroom,” but they
we had no sense or knowledge of kindness even don’t know newspapers, news channels, or social
existing. A time where there would be no recognition media. They know, hey this is my friend or family
for the acts of kindness. Where does that leave you? It member, and I want to share with them. Not because
Mother, Wife, Daughter, and Friend takes me to the toddler stage. I have too, but because I want too.

As I mentioned earlier, I have a three-year-old daugh- I do not know about anybody else’s children, but my
Hello, my name is Kaley Preshern. I am twenty-eight Fast forward to the age of twenty-four. I was in a very ter. I spend a big part of my time watching her play little girl is strong willed. Especially when it’s what she
years old, and I live in the Hub City, more commonly abusive relationship, homeless, carless, jobless, and on her own and with friends. The way they share a wants or when the grandparents around. However,
known as Jackson, Tennessee. I grew up in the small to top it all off, expecting. Not just pregnant, but four snack or toy makes my heart smile. It reminds me of when it comes to her and her friends, kindness comes
town of Reagan, Tennessee. What brings me to the months pregnant and did not even have a clue. the good in the world. so easy for them, and they do not even realize what
Hub City after all this time? My recovery now, but they are really doing. Kids do it simply to be kind.
then, my addiction. Fast forward again, I make it to Aspell Recovery Cen- I believe as we get older, our perception of the world
ter and complete all phases of their program. I am changes. We become aware of the bad, so we spend My daughter is my window to everyday kindness. I
Allow me to introduce myself again. currently celebrating three years of sobriety. I man- much time making sure something is done about it am grateful for her every day. She shows me uncondi-
Hi, my name is Kaley, and I am an Alcoholic/Drug aged to regain custody of my three-year-old daughter out of obligation. As a child, we just know we want tional love. She reminds me of one thing I know I am
addict. Most people do not like to discuss these issues and have married the man of my dreams. God has to play, be loved, eat snacks, and spend time with doing right in life, being her mother. I may feel like
due to the stigma that follows the title of “Drug ad- blessed me beyond belief since I made the decision to our friends. My belief is that every child should have a failure in every other aspect of my life, but Raylee
dict,” “Alcoholic,” or “Recovery.” However, for me, it get clean and sober. Well since the courts made it for these things daily. shows me through her smile and kindness, there is
is very therapeutic. My program taught me to not feel me, until I could make the choice myself, thank God. much more powerful things in this life.
shame for the way I choose to live my life. Growing up, I was always taught that kids need to be
Now I get to be a Mother, Wife, Daughter, and Friend. kids for as long as possible. Now that I have my own I would like to thank everyone who took the time to
It is my responsibility to help the next person in I am employed at the place that gave me a chance mini me, I can understand why. Our basic instincts read this article. I would also like to thank Tammy
need. I believe the first step of this process is aware- when I did not even want to give myself a chance, are to protect and provide for our offspring. Through Yosich for giving me the opportunity to be a part
ness. I lived a double life, hiding behind pain that no Aspell Recovery Center. I have regained all the things centuries of research and development, we now know, of her work. Hope you enjoyed reading my story as
one else could see or feel, but me. On the outside it my addiction took from me and so much more. I can- there is so much more to parenting! Things such as much as I did in writing it! Thanks, and remember
appeared I had it all together. Raised by my aunt and not wait to see what else God has in store for me. morals, values, and religious beliefs are just a few “Share!”
uncle, I still had nice clothes, grew up on a farm, got examples of things we work hard to instill in our little
involved in plenty of sports, and had decent grades. When I was first invited to write an article on kind- ones.
Both my mother and father were addicts. My living ness, I was super excited! Writing was a huge outlet
situation with my mother was unsafe so at the tender and confidence booster for me when I was younger. It The first thing we learn is to “Share.” “We must be
age of eight, I went to live with my aunt and uncle. is also good practice since I will begin school this fall. nice and share our toys with others, especially when
we have company,” I catch myself saying this to my
On the inside, I felt alone, less than, and unwanted. In The first question I asked myself is, “What exactly is daughter often. Normally, she does pretty good, but
high school I thought I was the most disgusting and kindness?” Kindness is the quality of being friendly, there is always that one toy she has a harder time
ugly looking girl of my class. People would compli- generous, and considerate. Kindness is a kind act in sharing than others. Immediately after telling her this,
ment me, and I never believed them. I could never simple terms. Having had plenty of personal experi- she hands over the said toy to her friend or company.
be happy with just Kaley. I spent a long time trying ence in receiving and giving kindness, I thought this
to get rid of the shadow of shame that hung over my article would be easy. Wrong! From birth to age five, there is so much our little ones
head which only I could see. learn. Walking, talking, potty training, eating on their
Most people consider things such as giving money, own. But have you ever noticed that sharing is prob-
As I got older, I started experimenting with alcohol buying extravagant gifts, or donating to your favor- ably one of the easiest things they pick up on? Kind-
and drugs. When I used or drank, I was the life of ite charity as acts of kindness. There is no argument ness is a powerful thing. I believe it is one of the last
the party. Everybody wanted to be my friend. I felt if these are or are not acts of kindness because they parts of innocence we have. I also believe in order to
beautiful. I was no longer scared of being unwanted most definitely are! However, I wanted to go a differ- share; we must have some kindness in us. Period.
because I did not care. I had finally found the magic ent route with this.
formula to fix me. Think about the question I asked earlier, “What is

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