Page 11 - The complete woman - WomenWithDifference

CHAPTER TWO

TOPIC: DELAY IN HAVING CHILDREN

BY MRS ELIZABETH DASHE

How should couples deal with childlessness or delay?
Somewhere a young man longs to play for a professional football team. Another
just hopes to see a live game. Also, somewhere a young woman longs to be a star
in the theaters. Another just hopes to see a live Broadway show. We all long and

hope. Only the extent of our dreams is different.

Family dreams can be more complex. One couple longs for a baby girl after giving
birth to four sons. Another couple (childless) dreams of cradling just one infant
they can call their own. If the first couple's hopes are shattered, they are still
thrilled to take home a baby boy. But what about the childless couple's shattered
dreams? They have spent time, money, and emotional energy on infertility
treatments and adoption pursuits. For them, watching other families from the

sidelines hardly seems like an acceptable alternative. How will they cope?
Some couples see childlessness as a malady and become consumed with it. Their
longing for a child swallows up the joy in their lives. Money and time are no object
in their pursuit to adopt or become pregnant. They will do anything, make any
sacrifice, to have a child. They may have uncomfortable feelings toward those
who are blessed with children. They may find fault with each other or become
angry with themselves. They may doubt God's wisdom as it applies to their lives.

These are intense feelings, and very real.

Childless couples often spend many years seeking medical treatment. Sometimes
their pursuits are successful, and they eventually conceive. At other times
treatments are unsuccessful. It may not be clear even to a physician why a couple
cannot conceive.

Finding Comfort and Hope

Infertility is a rocky road, but it is never hopeless. The extent of a Christian's
earthly hope should always be as God wills. God has a plan for all of us, even the
childless. In Ephesians 1:11-12, it says, "In him we were also chosen, having been
predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity