Page 131 - Essentials of Human Communication

110 ChaPter 5 Nonverbal Messages

during closing arguments to the jury. A skilled lawyer will use silence, not only to give herself
or himself time to present these issues in an organized way, but also to give the jury time to
digest the information presented.
Silence may also signal the importance or solemnity of the message. Before and after
messages of intense conflict or those confessing undying love, there is often silence.
Similarly, there would be silence during a prayer or flag-raising service. Similarly,
you might use silence to communicate your interest and respect for what someone
is saying.
Some people use silence as a weapon to hurt others. We often speak of giving someone
“the silent treatment.” After a conflict, for example, one or both individuals may remain
silent as a kind of punishment. Silence used to hurt others may also take the form of
refusal to acknowledge the presence of another person, as in disconfirmation (see Chapter 4);
in this case, silence is a dramatic demonstration of the total indifference one person feels
toward the other.
People sometimes use silence because of personal anxiety or shyness, or in response to
threats. You may feel anxious or shy among new people and prefer to remain silent. By
remaining silent you preclude the chance of rejection. Only when you break your silence and
attempt to communicate with another person do you risk rejection.
Like the eyes, face, or hands, silence can also communicates emotional responses (Ehrenhaus,
1988). Sometimes silence communicates a determination to be uncooperative or defiant: By
refusing to engage in verbal communication, you defy the authority or the legitimacy of the
other person’s position. Silence often communicates annoyance; in this case, it is usually
accompanied by a pouting expression, arms crossed in front of the chest, and flared nostrils.
Silence also may express affection or love, especially when coupled with longing gazes into
another’s eyes.
Of course, you also may use silence when you simply have nothing to say, when nothing
occurs to you or you do not want to say anything.
Not all cultures view silence in the same way (Vainiomaki, 2004). In the United States,
for example, silence is often interpreted negatively. At a business meeting or even in informal
social groups, the silent member may be seen as not listening or as having nothing interesting
to add, not understanding the issues, being insensitive, or being too self-absorbed to focus on
the messages of others. Other cultures, however, view silence more positively. In many situa-
tions in Japan, for example, silence is a response that is considered more appropriate than
speech (Haga, 1988).
The traditional Apache, to take another example, regard silence very differently than
do European Americans (Basso, 1972). Among the Apache, mutual friends do not feel the
need to introduce strangers who may be working in the same area or on the same project.
The strangers may remain silent for several days. This period enables them to observe
and evaluate each other. Once this assessment is made, the individuals talk. When court-
ing, especially during the initial stages, the Apache remain silent for hours; if they do
talk, they generally talk very little. Only after a couple has been dating for several months
will they have lengthy conversations. These periods of silence are often erroneously
Communication attributed to shyness or self-consciousness. But the use of silence is explicitly
Choice Point taught to Apache women, who are especially discouraged from engaging in long
remaining silent discussions with their dates. Silence during courtship is a sign of modesty to
Your college roommate is many Apache.
selling term papers and uses your jointly
owned computer to store them. You’re be- the spiral of silence. The “spiral of silence” theory offers a somewhat different
coming increasingly uncomfortable about perspective on silence. This theory, originally developed to explain the media’s influ-
the situation and want to distance yourself ence on opinion, argues that you’re more likely to voice agreement than disagreement
from this unethical behavior. How might you (Noelle-Neumann, 1991; Severin & Tankard, 2001; Scheufele & Moy, 2000). The
distance yourself or sever yourself entirely from theory claims that when a controversial issue arises, you estimate the opinions of
this operation, without creating too much trou- others and figure out which views are popular and which are not. You also estimate
ble in the same dorm room you’ll have to con- the rewards and the punishments you’d probably get from expressing popular or
tinue sharing for the rest of the year? What
would you say? How would you say it? unpopular positions. You then use these estimates to determine which opinions
you’ll express and which you won’t.