Page 136 - Essentials of Human Communication

Some Nonverbal Communication Skills 115

● Take the situation into consideration. Effective nonverbal communication is situational; to
be effective adapt your nonverbal messages to the specific situation. Nonverbal behavior
appropriate to one situation may be totally inappropriate in another.
● Maintain eye contact with the speaker—whether at a meeting, in the hallway, or on an
elevator; it communicates politeness and says that you are giving the person the consider-
ation of your full attention. Eye contact that is too focused and too prolonged is likely to
be seen as invasive and impolite.
● Avoid using certain adaptors in public—for example, combing your hair, picking your
teeth, or putting your pinky in your ear; these will be seen as impolite. And, not surpris-
ingly, the greater the formality of the situation, the greater the perception of impoliteness
is likely to be. So, for example, combing your hair while sitting with two or three friends
would probably not be considered impolite (or perhaps only mildly so); but in a class-
room or at a company meeting, it would be considered inappropriate.
● Avoid strong cologne or perfume. While you may enjoy the scent, those around you may
find it unpleasant and intrusive. Much like others do not want to hear your cell messages,
they probably don’t want to have their sense of smell invaded either.
● be careful with touching; it may or may not be considered appropriate or polite depending
on the relationship you have with the other person and on the context in which you find
yourselves. The best advice to give here is to avoid touching unless it’s part of the culture
of the group or organization.

video Choice Point
Inviting or Discouraging conversation
Kendra is sitting alone intently studying and not having time for her roommate, Lori. While
Kendra is working on her laptop, Lori comes into the room and Kendra lets Lori know that she’d rather be
left alone. Later on, however, she welcomes the interruption. See the video “Inviting or Discouraging
Conversation” to see how, in both cases, body language, eye contact, and other nonverbal cues communi-
cate messages that encourage or discourage interaction.

Watch the Video “Inviting or Discouraging Conversation” at MyCommunicationLab

Objectives self-check
● Can you apply these encoding and decoding suggestions to your own nonverbal communication?

Messages in the Media Wrap Up

Television programs are extremely body conscious and often focus on people and characters who are at the
extremes—for example, Mike and Molly or the Housewives shows. Think about how we all often form
impressions of people on the basis of the way they look as you watch just about any television show. Doing this
will help you become more aware of the nonverbal cues that we communicate.