Page 17 - Essentials of Human Communication

xvi Welcome

introduces ethics as a foundation concept in all forms of communication, an essential part of
communication competence. In all remaining chapters, Communicating Ethically boxes high-
light varied communication situations and ask you to apply ethical principles to various sce-
narios. For example, we’ll consider the ethical issues that come into play in various commu-
nication situations: cultural practices, lying, and ways to engage in interpersonal conflict
ethically. These boxes will serve as frequent reminders that ethical considerations are an inte-
gral part of all the communication choices/decisions you make. A list of these Communicat-
ing Ethically boxes appears in the Specialized Contents on page xi.
The Principles of Conversation 121
CommuniCating ethiCally
your obligation to reveal yourself
If you're in a close relationship, you may have an ethical obligation to reveal certain things about yourself. Con-
versely, you may feel that the other person—because he or she is so close to you—has an ethical obligation to
reveal certain information to you.
ethical Choice point
At what point do you have an ethical romantic Friend Consider at what point in a relation-
obligation to reveal your true: Partner ship, if any, you feel you would have
Age an ethical obligation to reveal each
of the 10 items of information listed
History of family genetic disorders here. Visualize your relationship as
existing on a continuum from initial
HIV status contact at 1 to extreme intimacy at
10, and use the numbers from 1 to
Past sexual experiences
10 to indicate at what point you
would feel an ethical obligation to
Marital history
reveal these items of information. If
Annual salary and net financial worth you feel you would never have the
obligation to reveal this informa-
Affectional orientation tion, use 0. As you respond to these
items, ask yourself, In what types of
Attitudes toward other races and nationalities
relationships and at what point in
Religious beliefs these relationships do you incur an
obligation to reveal personal infor-
Past criminal activity or incarceration mation about yourself?
There are, of course, many gradations between these extremes. Some friendships, for
example, are casual; others are highly intimate. Romantic pairs vary in their levels of intimacy,
Learning and Mastering Essential Communication Skills
and so do families.
This chapter introduces interpersonal communication, explains the process of conversa-
tion and some of its essential principles, and tackles some everyday conversation situations.
Explore the Concept
the principles of Conversation
Learning objectives highlight the major concepts and skills of the chapter. The learning ob-
“Talkaholic Scale”
at MyCommunicationLab
Although conversation is an everyday process and one we seldom
jectives system used here identify three major levels of thinking, each of which is included
think about, it is, like most forms of communication, governed by
several principles. Especially important are the principles of
Business
throughout the text (Bloom, 1956; Teacher & Educational Development, 2005; Eggen &
(1) process, (2) turn-taking, (3) dialogue, (4) immediacy,
(5) flexibility, and (6) politeness.
Kauchak, 2013): Feedforward Feedback
The PrinCiPle oF ProCess: ConversATion
is A DeveloPmenTAl ProCess Opening Closing
● Knowledge (recalling, remembering, and comprehending), introduced by such specific
Conversation is best viewed as a process rather than as an act. It’s
Figure 6.2
convenient to divide up this process into chunks or stages and to
A Five-stage model of Conversation
verbs as define, paraphrase, describe, and differentiate.
view each stage as requiring a choice as to what you’ll say and how
This model of the stages of conversation is best seen as a way of
you’ll say it. Here we divide the sequence into five steps: (1) opening,
talking about conversation and not as a hard-and-fast depiction
(2) feedforward, (3) business, (4) feedback, and (5) closing (see
of stages all conversations follow. As you review the model, con-
● Application (applying a concept to a new situation), introduced by such specific verbs as
Figure 6.2). These stages and the way people follow them will vary
sider how accurately it depicts conversation as you experience it.
Can you develop a more accurate and more revealing model?
depending on the personalities of the communicators, their culture,
diagram, illustrate, use, and give examples.
● Problem solving (analyzing/breaking a concept into its parts, synthesizing/combining ele-
ments into a new whole, and evaluating/making value or appropriateness judgments), in-
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troduced by such specific verbs as assess, construct, organize, and evaluate. 153
Theories of Interpersonal Communication and Relationships

At the end of each of the chapter’s major sections, questions prompt students to test Communication
should get approximately equal rewards. You also see the demand for equity in on-
line relationships; if you indicate “like” or “+1” to a friend’s photos or posts, you ex-
themselves to see if they can, in fact, accomplish the objectives. Choice Point
pect reciprocity; you expect equity. In fact social media have rather strict, though
Negotiating Equity
unwritten, equity expectations. You feel your romantic rela-
Equity theory puts into clear focus the sources of relational dissatisfaction seen tionship of the last three months has be-
every day. For example, in a relationship both partners may have full-time jobs, but come inequitable—you seem to do more of
one partner may also be expected to do the major share of the household chores. the work but get few benefits, while your
Thus, although both may be deriving equal rewards—they have equally good cars, partner does less work but gets more bene-
they live in the same three-bedroom house, and so on—one partner is paying more fits. You want to correct this imbalance be-
of the costs. According to equity theory, this partner will be dissatisfied. fore the relationship goes any further. What
Equity theory claims that you will develop, maintain, and be satisfied with rela- are some options you have for negotiating
greater equity? What are some of the things
7 tionships that are equitable. You will not develop, will be dissatisfied with, and will you might say?
eventually terminate relationships that are inequitable. The greater the inequity, the
greater the dissatisfaction and the greater the likelihood that the relationship will end.
Interpersonal
Relationships
Objectives Listen to the Audio Chapter messages in the media
at MyCommunicationLab
After reading this chapter, you should be able to: The television series Dallas centers on the Objectives Self-Check
complicated interactions of a large family, as
➊ Describe the advantages and disadvantages of interpersonal do many other dramas and sitcoms, and
relationships and assess your own relationships in light of these illustrates in clear terms, some of the ways
advantages and disadvantages. family members communicate with one ● Can you explain the theories of interpersonal relationships (attraction, rules, and social exchange
➋ Explain the stages of interpersonal relationships and provide examples another, admittedly in an extreme form. Both
of the types of messages that occur at each stage. effective and ineffective interactions are
➌ Define friendship, love, family, workplace, and online-only relationships. regularly dramatized in the words and and equity)?
➍ Explain the theories of interpersonal relationships and apply the gestures of a wide array of characters.
insights to your own relationships.
● Can you apply the insights from these theories to your own relationships—to better understand
them and to improve them?
136
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Skill Development Experiences throughout the text ask that you work actively with the con-
cepts discussed in the text and cover a wide variety of essential communication skills. Com-
pleting these experiences will help you apply the material in the chapter to specific situations
Messages in the Media Wrap Up
Television dramas and sitcoms are perfect laboratories for studying communication patterns in relationships of
all kinds. Watching these shows with a view to the ways in which the characters define themselves and
communicate with each other will provide a useful follow-up to this chapter.
Summary of Concepts and Skills Study and Review materials for this chapter are
at MyCommunicationLab
Listen to the Audio Chapter Summary dissolution. Each of these stages can be further broken
at MyCommunicationLab down into an early and a late phase.
This chapter explored interpersonal relationships—their 4. Among the major causes of relationship deterioration are a
stages and types; the reasons they are formed; and the influ- lessening of the reasons for establishing the relationship,
ence of culture, technology, and work on relationships. changes in the people involved, sexual difficulties, and
Advantages and Disadvantages of Interpersonal work and financial problems.
Relationships
Interpersonal Relationship Types
1. Among the advantages are that relationships lessen loneli-
ness and raise self-esteem. 5. Friendships may be classified as those of reciprocity, recep-
2. Among the disadvantages are that relationships put pressure tivity, and association.
on you to expose weakness and increase your obligations. 6. Six primary love styles have been identified: eros, ludus,
storge, pragma, mania, and agape.
The Stages of Interpersonal Relationships 7. Primary relationships may be classified into traditionals,
3. Relationships may be viewed in terms of six stages: contact, independents, and separates; families as consensual, pro-
involvement, intimacy, deterioration, repair, and tective, pluralistic, and laissez-faire.
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