Page 22 - Mirror Mirror
P. 22

If you have an accurate “reflection” then you may choose how to appropriately deal with it. You may realize that you have not been a real close to this person and there was really not any reason that they should invite you to the party. You can choose to make an effort to be better friends with them or you can choose not to worry about it. If you are honest, then you can look at your options and make a choice. Once you make your choice, you must act upon it and live with the consequences.
Too often, by choosing the inaccurate reflection, you act upon it in an inappropriate manner. Then you don’t get the desired result and continue to have the problem. Let’s take the test you did poorly on. You decide that the “reflection”, "the teacher does not like me” is correct. You then decide to “fix” the problem by being especially nice to the teacher. But on the next test you do poorly again. Were you not nice enough? Were you not nice enough in the right ways? Is the teacher always going to not like you no matter what you do (because he/she is a hateful person)? Should you try being even nicer? Maybe you should just quit trying to be nice since it does not help.
It may seem obvious that this is an inaccurate, “reflection.” The more accurate one may be “I did not study enough” and if that is true then you can act upon it by studying more for the next test. However that may mean that you are not as smart as you like to think you are (now you have to study, when you did not have to do that in the past). It may mean giving up some TV time. You may find that studying and giving up playtime is disagreeable. But you must decide what you are going to do and live with
the consequences.

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