Page 137 - The Circle of Life

agreeing to. Ironically this makes it much better than a court case where you

simply don't know what the Judge will decide or even if you will win.

Keep on asking and clarifying the clauses so you understand it. There is no

shame in that and if the lawyer gets upset it only means he is either bullsh-ting
you or he is so bad he cannot even explain his own clauses in a way which

makes sense to you. In both cases fire him and tell all your friends why you did
it if you want to be nasty. Word of mouth is the best or the worst publicity in the

world.

Any contested divorce, where you don't settle, will not only take up to 5 years to
finalise but also be extremely expensive. It is emotionally draining and just a

mess.

Secondly I find that most men are way too generous when settling because they

feel guilty and some clever idiot advised them that freedom is worth any price.
You know my feelings on a fair settlement. This does not mean you should now

bend forward if you know what I mean. Some try to buy the love back with a
more than fair settlement. It never works. Once the trust is broken it is broken.

The very worst argument in law or life is where you want to go the right thing. I

wish teachers would teach children to think of the legal consequences before
doing the right thing. Real life is not a game and the consequences are the

theatre of life. When you bleed you really bleed. Simply you pay your fair share
and that is it.

Thirdly some spouses tend to trust the other side too much. They have not yet
realised that the relationship of trust is gone. Always get independent advice

even if it costs a few dollars. We have to understand that some spouses are in a
state of shock and sincerely not capable of making good decisions. You need

time and distance.

Do not trust your husband or his lawyer. It is no problem when you both wish to
settle the matter and have no real fight to see one lawyer. Under such conditions

one lawyer may act for both of you but he will always favour the one paying
him. It is just human to do so. Always have the settlement checked by someone

else and if it goes over to a contested divorce get your own lawyer. In this

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