Page 138 - The Circle of Life
P. 138

regard I assure you that the lawyer himself will tell you this. He knows he cannot

               act  for  both  sides  once  it  is  contested  and  will  always  (being  a  decent  man  in
               nature) advise you to have the settlement checked out by someone else.


               There  are  also  mediators  who  you  can  use  to  reach  settlement  but  it  is  not
               required by law to do so. I have serious doubts on their use and where a party is

               obnoxious it will be a waste of money. I really fail to see what they can provide
               which  your  own  lawyer  cannot.  It  is  not  recommended  and  if  the  other  side

               wants a fight then give him one.


               Fourthly there is always a sincere lack of information on the other side's financial
               affairs  and  thus  we  would  like  to  see  copies of the bank statements, insurance

               policies,  pension  funds  and  anything  else  which  can  determine the value of the
               estate.  Many  hide  these  things  on  purpose  or  on traditional grounds where the

               woman is excluded from financial affairs.

               When should you leave the family home?


               Some  say  never.  You  stay  and  the  other  spouse  can  go.  It  is  good  for  the

               children  and  does  not  disrupt  their  lives.  This  is usually the case where minors
               are involved. The thing is that may not be realistic though it is often the husband

               who leaves and the children stay with mom in the family house. There is no real
               answer  in  law  for  it is something to be sorted out between the parties. No law

               states you should leave or stay. Obviously it also depends whose house it is and
               what you agreed to in your antenuptial. I found many who live on in the house

               after divorce and whilst weird to me it worked for them.

               Just make sure that if you leave that you take your stuff with you and make sure

               you  take  only  your  own  or  agreed  assets  for  the  other  spouse  may  well  be
               tempted  to  lay  a  charge of theft against you. In fact they often do.  If you feel

               threatened by your spouse you may ask and will receive police protection when
               you fetch your assets. You may also obtain a protection order or interdict against

               him and let me tell you the courts do not take kindly to people who ignores their

               orders  and  will  act  very  harshly  and  swiftly  against  those  who  do. It is not an
               empty threat at all.


               Pension funds?

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