Page 140 - The Circle of Life

fight is three fold. One who gets them? Two when to visit them? And three how

much maintenance for each and how it is paid?

Every now and then a parent tries to use the child as a weapon against the

other. Please stop such nonsense for it is selfish and all about you and not the
child. The law does not take kindly to silly behaviour. Using a child as a pawn is

contemptible beyond words. Grow up!

Each case is judged on its own merits and that normally means the children will

see a phycologist and the parents will do so also separately. A parenting plan

setting everything out is drawn up and agreed (part of the settlement) and send
to the government employed Family Advocate Office who will approve it or not.

They are sometimes ridiculous but mostly it is straightforward. Government
supplied social workers may also study the case and make recommendations.

The court is by law the pater familias of all children meaning the father and will
always act to protect them even against their natural parents. This is as serious

as it gets.

Typically the children stay with the mom and the dad sees them every second

weekend and holiday depending on age and relationship. These days we see
shared parenting where they live one week with the mom and next week with

dad. I have grave doubts on this but apparently it works well enough for the
courts to agree to it. Note please that refusing access to a child is contempt of

court and you may end up in jail. You may however keep to the letter of the

court order and where the dad missed his visit he has to wait for the next time.
However, think of the child too who may actually miss his father.

The maintenance is always about the child's needs. Obviously a 16 year old girl
needs more than 2 years old toddler and the court wants to be satisfied that this

aspect is taken care off. Practically this means staying on a medical aid and the
parents are supposed to make it work. We often see one demanding payment

for medical expenses upfront instead of claiming against the medical aid. Really,
I say again grow up. Once a spouse decides he does not love you anymore there

is no need for you to crawl back or be nasty about it. Show some class.

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