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verse psychology, Caesar Milan convinced
A Dog's TaiJTale the dog that since his tail is up in the air,
albeit with external help, then it must be

In a recent article on the BBC website of First Impressions". Now, there is a title in a good mood. So, the dog, slowly but
it was argued that giving employees im- that absolutely lifts anyone's tail! surely, changes its demeanour. With re-
pressively sounding job titles can make a peated practice by the family, the dog was
difference to their attitude towards work, Speaking of tails, if you have ever rehabilitated within a couple of weeks.
making them better motivated, happier watched a reality programme called "The
within themselves, and generally less Dog Whisperer" starring Caesar Milan, Back to the job titles. It is not that far
stressed. It transpired that even without you would be familiar with the miracu- off the dog's tail concept. For us to have
increase in pay or improved conditions, lous things this gentleman is able to do funky, senior or happy sounding titles,
workers responded positively after being to rehabilitate aggressive, out of control, we might, just might, feel better about
given the title 'manager' or 'supervisor' undomesticated, or traumatised dogs to things in general, for long enough to as-
etc. Similar effects were realised when becoming the model pooches we all wish sume the necessary positive attitude to
staff were encouraged to invent titles for to have as our best friends. do something more permanent about
themselves to express howthey perceived our work and life environments.
their jobs. In one episode, the dog whisperer is
called in to a family home where they So, shallwe try it? Here are some examples:
I appreciate that such articles reflect had recently adopted an abandoned dog If your job title is say: "Office Attendant",
fairly isolated anecdotal cases with lim- who was, to put it mildly, very depressed. this does not fill anyone with pride and
ited research and no extensive long-term The dog cowers in a corner of the house motivation. However, with your duties
studies that can be referenced to prove loolcing dejected, frightened and miser- of clerical work unchanged, we call you:
positive lasting effects. Having said that, able, where no amount of cajoling would "Corporate Coordinator", then this grand
what if such practices induce positive entice him to cheer up and join in the sounding title must surely put a spring in
benefits for a limited period of time that merry activities of the families. your heel.
last long enough to allow us to assume a
positive frame of mind to re-assess our Clearly, the family wanted to help and If you are a "Bookkeeper" irrespective of
work environment, redefine our relation- Caesar Milan was their last hope. Caesar how thin or fat these books are, no one at
ships and in some cases, revise our career walks in and observes the dog for a while. a social gathering is going to ask you to
objectives and find better alternatives? He then suggests that everyone, including tell them more about your duties. But if
Surly, that's not a bad outcome. the reluctant dog, goes out for a walk. As you are to be called: "Fiscal Comptroller"
theybegin theirwalk, Caesar falls backbe- no doubt you will draw attention to your-

Justlike the abovearticle,I havesimilar an- hind and observes the familyon their walk self. Be sure to spell it as "Comptroller"
ecdotes from personal experience, includ- and notes that the dog was stffl nervoris of with the grand-sounding "p" in the mid-
ing one from the animal world that might everyLhing that went on around him from dle and not with a boring "n" letter.
sway the doubters to keep an open mind. pedestrians, to other dogs, cars, cydists
etc. A few minutes later, Caesar moves Another example: ifyouworkin any type
A few months ago, a small marlceting to apply his remedy. He catches up with of retail shop you may be called the ge-

company bid for a project at my com- the family and takes control of the dog's neric "Shopkeeper" or worse "Shop As-
pany. The two partners came to discuss lead with one hand and with the other, he sistant" then a more uplifting title would
their bid and handed us their very artisti- reaches down for the dog's tail, which is be: "Commodities Negotiator".
cally designed business cards. Their titles firmly nestling between his legs and lifts it
were: "The Creative One" and "The Ne- up in the air as high as it could go without Finally, if you are employed to run a hot-

gotiating One". We spent a few minutes causing the dog discomfort. Within a few dog stand then a fitting title would be
discussing their titles, which helped to seconds, the dog's demeanour begins to "Principal Nutritionist" because there is
break the ice before we got down to busi- change, his head lifts up, his walk turns in only one of you at the kiosk so, you are
ness. Regrettably, they did not win the to canter and his entire body is filled with the principal person there.
contract but not, I hasten to add, because energy! Caesar Milan explains that a dog's
of their amusing and original titles. mood is reflected in the state of its tale. So, go on, campaign to have your job ti-
When he is frightened and nervous, the tle changed to Corporate Poet; Chief Re-
A couple ofyears ago, I was in the USA on tail tucks between the legs (hence the ex- freshments Officer; Principal Co-workers

a business trip visiting a company which pression of someone skulking away with Problem Listener; Senior JolceApprecia-
provided training services. I presented his tail between his legs after a major dis- tor; Director of Birthday Celebrations; or
myself to the infectiously cheerful lady at appointment or a put down). Conversely, whatever else you think best describes
the front desk of the company offices who when a dog is proud, confident or happy, you. Me? I am a "Verbal Artist"!
had the delightful title of: "Vice President his tail automatically lifts up. So, using re- MUFID SUKKER

IN TER N ATIO N A L DIPLO M AT - DIV A 3