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In order to unconditionally accept and love yourself and others you need to:
1. First: Identify what are the conditions which you force others to meet before you are ac-
cepting and loving of them.
2. Second: Analyse these conditions and expectations which you set for others in order to
identify why they block you from being unconditional.
3. Third: Analyse if these conditions are reasonable, rational, or realistic and develop healthy
alternative scripts which free you up to be more unconditional with others.
4. Fourth: Recognize that the limits and rules of appropriate behaviours which you expect
others to conform to are rules for survival, decency, getting along, coping, productivity,
sense, and order but are not the determinants of freely accepting and loving them.
5. Fifth: Practice eliminating any conditions as you face others and attempt to accept and
love them freely, generously, and with no limitations.
6. Sixth: Emphasize with others that it is because you love and accept them so entirely and
freely that you want them to experience the positive or negative consequences of their
own actions and that such consequences do not affect your acceptance or love of them.
7. Seventh: Clarify that "tough love'' is the continuous unconditional acceptance and love of
others but yet holds the target of such love to be fully personally responsible for their own
actions and the consequences of those actions.
I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and
you are not in this world to live up to mine.
What is acceptance?
Acceptance is an intuitive perception that, although we may not know the reason for the
existence of something, it has a right to exist and a place in the grand scheme of things.
Acceptance is a willingness to allow our natural outflow of vitality toward people, we don't
damn the person by attempting to dam this flow of life energy. Regardless of our material
circumstances with this person, he or she is entitled to that connection.
We don't put them out of our heart.
Acceptance is a state that can co-exist with contrary states, in both our viewpoint and our
actions. Acceptance is a psychological function. We can accept something regardless of our
thoughts, images, or feelings, our liking or disliking, our approval or disapproval.
We can accept something while simultaneously trying to change it. Acceptance, in contrast to
denial, lets us look directly at the other persons viewpoint while comparing it to our own.
Acceptance is generally considered to be a passive state, but it is actually an active state.
We accept our desire to change unpleasant conditions, while we simultaneously accept the
reality that those conditions exist. We do not passively submit to those unpleasant conditions.
Instead of passively stagnating with our denials and hatreds and avoidances, acceptance lets
us see our potentials in whatever is presented to us, and it allows us to explore those potentials
whole heartedly.