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Those protective layers seemed to serve a purpose, but what they actually did was to obstruct
our path to true happiness.

All forms of denial are a kind of survival mechanism that manifest themselves when we feel all
that we have built, created or worked so hard to achieve is threatened by our inner truths. We
create a version of truth, a mask if you like, that we wear with all those around us, that helps us
get through each day.

Denial becomes very much like a life jacket that will keep us afloat in a sea of uncertainty. We
tell ourselves that if we can only hang onto denial, we will not drown. So we cling onto it,
convincing ourselves that this is as close to true happiness we will ever get. If it is allowed to go
on for too long, we even begin to believe that this is all we deserve and our self worth plummets.

The truth is, the longer we stay in denial, the deeper and thicker the water and the more we
begin to drown in it, until finally, we reach those cross roads where all we want is the truth, that
authentic, happy life we all deserve.

Most people at some time or another, use denial as a strategy for survival. It is only when we look
inward at the causes of our unhappiness that we can see how destructive it really is. Persistent
denial obstructs our path to true happiness and sabotages our ability to have meaningful and
truly intimate loving relationships.

Will the real me please stand up? Reclaiming Your Authentic Self

Having recognised that we may have got lost on the way to our true happiness, we realise that
we may have planned our lives while still very young, perhaps too influenced by family and
friends, unresolved issues from childhood, or values imposed on us by society. Sometimes it is a
shock to realise the life plan we’ve been using is ten, twenty or thirty years out of date, based on
values that no longer apply to us. When we strip our life plan down, we may even realise that
many of our plans or goals belong to someone else, and are no longer plans we would seek to
pursue.

On this voyage of self discovery, it is inevitable that we ask ourselves the question “Will the real
me please stand up?” Asking the question takes immense emotional courage, which is why
denial is so often chosen as the easier option. Answering the question takes even more
courage, courage to face the uncomfortable truth, with relentless honesty and perseverance.

We must be prepared to dig as deep as is necessary to get to the truth of what will really make
us happy. We must face parts of ourselves we have ignored or denied, face truths we have
evaded, confront longings and dreams we have denied ourselves. The truth is closer than you
think, inside of you right now. It is not a matter of searching for it, but through a willingness to see
it, uncovering it by removing all the masks, denials and other strategies we have used to keep it
hidden.

The search for your authentic self goes deeper than the roles you fill in life. In our quest for
self-knowledge and awareness, when we identify who we are, the qualities that make us the
people we are, it’s not unusual to discover many of our previous goals and dreams are
incongruent with who we have now identified ourselves to be. It is at this time of introspection
that we can sometimes see more clearly that what we thought we needed, no longer fits who
we are, and we don’t need the same things anymore. Perhaps we discover we are still living
with choices we made ten years ago that were applicable when at 21, that no longer fit at 31
or 41. It is in these powerful awakenings, that we feel compelled to make the outward
expression of who we are to more honestly and accurately fit our true inner self.