Page 16 - November 2023
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Conflict is Actually Necessary at a
Certain Stage in Every Relationship
Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the way and say to ourselves, “What does
presence of love. this experience want from me?” “What
— J. Pittman McGehee, D.D. in me has been projected onto you so
that I can see it?”
Conflict is actually necessary at a
certain stage of every relationship. Problems inevitably occur as we
begin to really know each other.
The affect that others have on us is
purposeful. The unconscious will actually What if someone does something
facilitate this to happen by producing or says something that we don’t like,
quarrels eventually. Don’t feel like a and we say nothing. When we refuse
victim when this phase of a relationship to communicate, we block our self-
begins. The unconscious of both people expression and the relationship
will set it up so that they can differentiate stagnates. We basically freeze up our
i.e., see who each other actually is. In emotional connection with that person.
other words, recognize differences. Just because we didn’t say anything,
Most people are unaware of how much doesn’t mean it isn’t still there. The
their original attraction (chemistry) to biggest problem with incomplete
the ‘other’ is about a part of ourselves communication is the other person
that has remained unconscious. Our doesn’t know us.
unconscious has a profound influence on
our lives as it wants to be known. We have to strive to be as honest as we
possibly can even if it will cause short-term
There is a teleology in the people, anxiety, because withholding our truth is
events and situations occurring in our no different than rage. They are really two
lives. Teleology just means it’s leading extremes. Either of those will harm the
somewhere. It wants something from relationship more than if we are honest.
us. Often, it’s our own Shadow begging When people rage, it usually means they
for our self-acceptance by bringing us a have been holding back their real feelings
mirror. If we can look at our lives in this for an extended period of time.
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