Page 194 - EFI-RAV ZILBERSTIN_VOL 8.EFI-RAV ZILBERSTIN_VOL 8.1A
P. 194

Pg: 194 - 7-Back 21-10-31

         negative manner, albeit solely imaginatively, with the object of avoid-
         ing practical action (acting out)? For example, when I find someone
         greatly troubling, am I allowed – in my imagination – to strike him
         and do whatever I want to him, thereby releasing myself from that
         deposit or does the [Torah’s] admonition “Don’t hate your brother in
         your heart” (Vayikra 19:17) forbid me from doing so?

            It should be noted that we are speaking about emotions that any-
         way exist within the patient. He vainly tries to push these emotions
         aside altogether, occasionally becoming partially conscious of them
         despite his attempts to banish them. The therapist is therefore not
         introducing any negative feelings into the patient but is only helping
         him to become aware of feelings that he already has in order to treat
         them through short-term imaginary exercises which are usually a
         matter of a few short minutes. Moreover, the effect of this release
         from emotional residues is not just momentary but causes a drop in
         the general level of frustration and aggression.

            The most serious question in regard to this method seems to be the
         degree to which a child is allowed to employ it towards his parents,
         owing to the seriousness of the [Torah’s] commandments involving
         honoring parents. It should again be pointed out that the child’s res-
         idues of frustration and aggression have in large part been caused by
         his parents’ conduct, which usually includes excessive aggression. In
         addition, we encounter many cases in which children are incapable of
         observing the basic principles of honoring parents because of their
         internal emotional pressure.

            Should we conclude that freeing oneself from these residual
         emotions towards parents in this way is forbidden, might achieving
         release in an indirect manner be permitted? For example, by telling
         someone else about the grudge he holds in his heart and about all the
         parents’ deficiencies – and all this, whether in practice or in imagina-
         tion, despite the fact that these forms of treatment are likely to be less
         efficient?

            I would also point out that unacknowledged anger leads to hatred
         and growing estrangement among family members. This destructive
         phenomenon is extremely frequent, leading to frustration for the in-

178  1  Medical-Halachic Responsa of Rav Zilberstein
   189   190   191   192   193   194   195   196   197   198   199