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4) writes that there are several opinions regarding the definition of
this prohibition: 1. in the Rambam’s opinion (Hilchos Dei’os, 6,5), the
prohibition is transgressed when one’s hatred of a fellow Jew remains
in one’s heart, while a person who informs his colleague that he hates
him does not transgress it; 2. the Ramban’s view (Commentary to the
Torah, Vayikra, 19,16) is that the commandments “You shall not hate
your brother in your heart” and “Thoroughly rebuke your colleague”
are two sides of the same coin. They warn us not to carry hatred with-
in our hearts but to rebuke him about the matter over which you hate
him – perhaps he will apologize or will clarify that the situation is
not as you believe and perhaps he will ask for your forgiveness.  This
is also the view of the Yerei’im (mitzvah 39).

  According to the Ramban and the Yerei’im one is not allowed
to tell a person that he hates him unless he informs him of why he
hates him and listens to his response. From the Yerei’im’s comments
it seems that if his friend does not deny having wronged him yet does
not ask for forgiveness, the hater no longer violates this negative mitz-
vah. It is further implied that if his hatred is rooted in jealousy he will
violate the command “Do not hate your brother in your heart” even
after having informed him of his hatred and discussing the matter
with him.

  According to the Rambam too (ibid., halachah 6) it is a mitzvah
for a person to engage his colleague in open discussion rather than
harboring his hatred in his heart and this is the mitzvah to“thorough-
ly rebuke your colleague.” However, according to the Ramban and the
Yerei’im, he violates“do not hate your brother in your heart” so long as
he has not discussed the matter with his colleague whereas according
to the Rambam these are two separate mitzvos and from such time
as he informs his colleague that he hates him he no longer violates
and he will fulfill the mitzvah of rebuke when he rebukes him and
discusses the matter with him. (See Vayikra ibid. for Rashi’s view.)

  Now, the gemara in maseches Pesachim 113b, brings the passuk,
“When you see the donkey of the person you hate, crouching under
its burden, should you refrain from helping him? You shall surely
extend assistance, together with him.” (Shemos 23,5) Noting that the

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