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expressed in the prayer, “May my soul be as dust to everyone.” The
Rambam has written, (Hilchos De’os, 7,7), “It is fitting for a person
to be forgoing in every realm of life, for to people of understanding
everything is vanity and worthlessness and is not worthwhile taking
revenge over.”



Using Imagination to Demean Parents in

Thought

Our discussion hitherto has dealt with a friend and colleague. Now
we shall discuss the second question concerning the relationship
between children and parents. Is a person allowed to imagine that
his parents’ words are like a dog’s barking and to decide that there
is no difference whatsoever between them and the mentally ill? Is it
permitted to become angry at them and to take revenge on them in
one’s imagination?

Now, the Rambam writes (Hilchos Mamrim 5:15),“The Torah does
not take exception only to striking and to cursing [parents] but also
to showing them scorn, for whoever scorns his father or mother, even
verbally or even through some intimation, is cursed by the G-d’s
word, as it is written‘Cursed is he who belittles his father and mother.’
(Devarim 27:16) And it says, “The eye that mocks a father and that
scorns a mother’s wrinkles… [will be severely punished], (Mishlei,
30,17) And beis din ought to administer disciplinary flogging for
this and punish it as they see fit.” The Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh De’ah,
241,6) rules this way. While the wording implies that scorning them
verbally or by allusion is forbidden, we have not seen yet from here
that it is forbidden to scorn them in one’s heart.

However, the Sefer Charedim writes (9,35) that the mitzvah of
honoring parents includes thinking of them as great and honorable
people. He writes,“We find that there is honor accorded in the heart,
as it is written (Tehillim, 15,1 and 4), ‘Who shall dwell in Your tent?
... [He who is] worthy of scorn in his own eyes [and] despicable,’

186 1 Medical-Halachic Responsa of Rav Zilberstein