Page 22 - The Freckled Eye - Book

Dr. Phan continued letting me know we could try this treatment up to 3 total
times. The reason is that the laser burns the skin layers in the eyeball and
they don’t want to thin the eyeball lining out too much. What also makes a
difference in doing this procedure is where your tumor is located.

Because my tumor was inside the back of my eye, between the choroid layer,
there was an additional concern. The tumor was located near the blood
supply to my eye. Why that’s a concern is that you don’t want to let cancer
cells leak into the blood stream, allowing it to spread to other parts of the
body. So when Dr. Phan burned my eyeball, she wanted to make sure we
didn’t thin the eyeball lining too much. Understanding where my tumors was
located, I didn’t want to wait. She explained if this treatment didn’t work, we’d
then try radiation. Radiation?

Radiation was a more aggressive treatment and would be an option later
down the road should the Hot Laser treatment not work. Dr. Phan said, I
know this is a lot to take in, but I just had a cancelation and we could do the
Hot Laser Treatment procedure at 1pm today. Today? I was emotionless for
a moment, trying to take all this in. My body was not moving, I was totally
numb and my mouth was slow in asking the next question. I felt like I was
beginning to discombobulate. "Could you bring my mom in? She's in the
waiting room." I asked. All I could think about was, I needed her now more
than ever.

Mom had always been my rock for all the craziness in my life. But this... was
like no other. I'd never been faced with something like this. I needed her to
help me process what was going on, and I needed her advice and support as
I’d always done with any issues in my life.

Dr. Phan brought mom in. Dr. Phan and I went over all the information up to
that point. I began to cry as I looked at my mom taking in the information for
the first time. She was quiet and then asked us some questions. Mom and I
then took a few minutes together. She hugged me as she and I made our
final decision to move forward. Dr. Phan added that we could wait, but that she
wouldn’t wait too long. Mom and I agreed, waiting wasn’t an option and we wanted to
move forward with the hot laser treatment that day. Dr. Phan nodded in agreement with
our decision.

It was a little before noon, so Dr. Phan suggested that mom and I run across
the street for some lunch while we waited for my 1pm appointment. Mom and
I left, both still numb from what we’d heard and in a bit of disbelief. Things
were moving so fast.