Page 97 - The Freckled Eye - Book

of this chapter in my life. Was it the end? So many things had changed in
the last few years. I had sold my house of 14 years. I’d moved from the Bay
Area, where I was born and lived my whole life, and now I had eye cancer. It
was a lot of change and I wasn’t feeling grounded. I didn’t know what the
future held.

Finally, a few days passed and I was beginning to bounce back, after all the
stress over the last month. It was an elephant to carry, but I started to feel
better. Thank goodness for Jay, Lori, Cathie, Andrea and Sarah. Thank
goodness for mom, dad and Linda. Thank goodness for my niece and
nephew, Josie and Charlie Max. Thank goodness for my brother Charlie, his
wife Jill and my sister in-law Paula. They’ve all helped me pull through this
with their love and support. It took me a minute to find my way again, but
with their help, I began to feed my brain positive thoughts once again.

Don’t get me wrong, there were some tears that would show up unannounced,
but I didn’t let it take over. I gave myself some time to cry when I needed
to. I’d get up in the morning by myself, and sit by the fireplace with the
Christmas tree lights on and cry. I had to let it out, the stress of waiting and all
that had gone on was too much to hold in. It was like trying to hold back a
tsunami with dam of thin sticks, which was constantly breathing it’s power. No
matter what I did to relieve stress, it was still there, building upon itself.

Then, as if I didn’t have enough to deal with, I was going to get my period. I
don’t think I’ve mentioned what an issue this is right now. I’ve been dealing
with MAJOR pre menopausal issues. I’m talking about an enormous amount
of bleeding and blood clots the size of limes. (If you're a guy reading this...
Sorry. Just be thankful you're a man.) It was totally out of control and of
course… the symptoms were getting. It was hard enough for me to handle
what I was going through under “normal” circumstances, but this was a bit
much. Then, to have raging hormones, usually the week before my period… I
had no chance. No one did.