Page 171 - Thorn In The Heart

Chinh Nguyên

my defense on the battlefield only. They made blood brother for
the belief on the communism, and the people opened their mind
to know what Communist party had done for them...!

The war was deeply affecting on our life to the root. I lost
my truth on the Nationalist parties because Vietminh agents
were hiding and spying in all of them. Since the leaders killed by
Vietminh and French agents in secret, these parties became
weakness then broken up slowly by the doubt, and I confused
for anything.

I pushed you onto the hardship of life. I knew you were
working hard to kill the empty times that without me. You were
praying and teaching our child at the same time as your crying. I
hope our child will grow to live in the peaceful and
independence of the country, which were the rich land and full
of love.

I remembered everything that you had told me at the first
time we had met, which you gave me your heart and will go
with me anywhere. It was not as you were a dream now...! We
did not have time to go anywhere like our wish! The youth and
love had lost in the war..! We did not have time to think of each
other, because the sound of bombs and canon exploded were
echo around us. Also, the dead bodies of civilians can be
anywhere! The living became a hardship and dangerous...! How
we can live for each other. Love, sharing and be together were
my promise, but I do not know how I can be with you.

My life was as a bullet that had shot out of the gun and
flying forward. I could not turn it back with you. Soon this bullet
will explode somewhere...! My life will return into the dirty,
nothing else...! You will be suffering in the painful and our
child will lose their angel ages without father...!

At the time come on our old age. You had the wish to follow
me into another world at the same time. We I will not feel alone

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